Return to my city of Shattered Dreams

Wandering between thought and observation, my heart is pierced into the remnants of shattered dreams. Once again i have returned to the heart of my darkest disappointments, and done so without the loss of a coin tossed over my shoulder into any grand fountain. As i reminisced the long lonesome trudge i took to the Trevi Fountain, my heart imploded, a black hole conjured. sigh...

大丈夫です

but really, i'm not.

QoTD

Give the man a fish and you'll feed him for a day; Teach the man to fish and you'll feed him for a lifetime.

sigh!!!

sigh!!! i just ran 2.4km on the track and i sadly ran only just below 13minutes! so much for trying for gold timing (9.45)!!
ok i didn't run at hundred percent but rather at an upbeat pace (i'd say 70%)? but 13 minutes is way too slow! have my training yielded no results?

comeon comeon comeon!!

i need some motivation to step it up a notch!

training

when you blast your music loud enough so as to cover the sound of your own breathing, you know u have become obsessed with training.

musings

And so, into the night we quietly leave, in search of the sunrise. We know not where we'll find it, but still we go.

Armed with little clues and the heart of an adventurer, we press on to do what we must, to fulfill our dreams, when we do now even know what our dreams are, or where they lie.

What are dreams? Are they things that we tell ourselves are good, and then we want it? or are they things that we tell ourselves we decide we want, and then convince ourselves that they are good? So to put it simply, does the heart direct the mind, or does the mind sway our hearts?

I'm back from HK, where i had a great time. And there i found a new question. What drives us? energy? does everyone have an endless supply? what determines our energy level? does the concept even exist? - what if it was something so much simpler? A system of economics, demand and supply, cost and power?

-conquering fear of flying
-imperfections, mistakes

The morning after 48 hours

Now how did we all get home again? Oho.

Losing control every now and again can be pretty refreshing, especially in good company.

23rd.
It all started with a long-time-postponed lunch with W at LaNonna, and then checking in with the cousin to see how he was holding up against the previous nights' exploits, and then a crazy drive around which caused >$10 ERP damage, and dinner at Lavender, and then a mahjong game to remember (or not), rushing home to pack, getting to the airport to fly.

24.
6am and at the airport, I see Chenann and true to form the ever-dependable aon has brought a spare padlock for my check-in bag. Unfortunately, the padlock was too big for my bag zip, and so I decided to checkin without a lock. Interestingly, Chenann had locked his bag with a lock that wouldn't open.

n00b travelers unite, as me, the guy who checks in a bag with no padlock, traveling with Chenann, who has a padlocked bag which his key cannot unlock.

The day breezed right by as we met Kenny to pick up a keycard to the apartment, stopped at a random cha can ting for lunch, and headed back to Kenny's to settle in.

Having spent an hour 'wowing' over Kenny's pad, I tucked myself in for a powernap as Chenann hit the showers.

When I came to, Kenny had texted me to get my ass over for dinner, and so it was time to mobilize.......





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Hisashiburi des

and about time too.

hmm

have you ever been so tired that you cannot sleep?

I promised myself to treat myself, and visit a nearby tower. And climbing to the top, I'll throw myself off, In an effort to make it clear whoever what it's like when you're shattered. Standing in a lurch, by the church, where people're saying "my god that's tough she stood him up, no point in us remaining." "may as well go home," as I did on my own...


Alone again, (naturally) - Gilbert O'Sullivan

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accident

first bike accident ever. My life flashed before my eyes. But right now after i've calmed down, i'm just a tad shaken up. with nothing except a lack of words and a gash on my shin, i'm pretty much unscathed. And past dinner time, i had been thinking about a myriad of things that could've happen, which could've erased me in a hurry.

truly exhilarating, frightening, and dangerous.

why don't you put up with it instead.

i trust you

i trusted u, and you haven't told anyone have you?

Raven - Just Let Me Go

and then?

i've had enough. It's time to go.

bad bad bad

bad bad headache.....

on holiday

Flight to Langkawi in 2 hours, and then a boat to Ko Lipe. No floods and lots of sun thanks.

a first for everything.

Passed driving! yays! drove today to IMM in jurong! no accidents as yet hur hur hur

driving me crazy

last driving lesson before tmrw's TP test. Please don't stall your car BJC

when words are pointless to speak

Today's a bad day.
I cannot explain why because i simply don't know why.
But knowing why is pointless when u are powerless to do anything.

Maybe it's my cancelled japan trip.
Maybe it's how things are not going smoothly with mum and i.
Maybe it's my sickness.
Maybe it's my sadness for japan.
Maybe it's my lack of anything to do.
Maybe it's unrequited love.
Maybe it's everything.
Maybe it's just me.

I don't know. But you know. you always know. why i am hurting. why i am down. stop it. stop letting me be hurt. stop hurting everyone. i need you now.
sigh.
the end is nigh.