Here i am perched on an office chair, reflecting my life for the past two days.
it was by no means good.
Gin's been practically telling me how sad she is, and i wonder if she knows there's nothing much i can do for her anymore..i wish i could, but i can't cause i still love her.
and i'm just trying to move on..
i thought that's what she wanted for me at least..yet she keeps me trapped here..it's almost a test of my resolve..oh i don't know..maybe she still needs someone to dote on her, but my time's past..it past when she said she didn't want me, so what's with all this?
How could i possibly become her best friend after she broke up with me? feelings still intact, i'd be a boyfriend with a best friend tag.sigh.
internally, i've been in turmoil..as always, asking myself questions that i can't answer..asked sarah(who seemed the most mature) the same questions that was bugging me but she had no answer either..maybe i'm thinking too much, maybe i'm just lost, maybe i'm just wasting my time~
what's our purpose in life?
what're we here to accomplish?
everyone has theories, and theories exist because no one's really sure at all..which is rather discouraging for me..
currently, i just lead life by aiming for everyone to be happy, if he's happy, she's happy, then i'll be happy too,..it's them who makes me happy anyways..sigh..
which leads me to wonder why do people aim to be LOOKING good instead of BEING good?
sigh..oh i don't know..and until i find out, i'll still be seeking to fill that void within my heart..
"To err is human;to Forgive,divine."
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