i just wanted to share with you

Sunday, dark has turned to grey~

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when did i last have short black hair again? it must be something like an entire year or so!

the emptiness of christmas

Emo again. what's in a gift?

When gifts turn to dust, sincere words and true feelings are all that remain. Sadly though, halfway through cookie baking and card-making, i lost the drive to continue. Simply put, i just had nothing left in the tank to put into these cards/cookies/gifts. My friends know me as someone who'd put thought and heart into my gifts, hating to give out meaningless trinkets or useless dust-collecting paperweights. And so, true to current form, i doubt i've ever given out so little love over christmas ever.

Seeing no point in writing the customary card, i decided that if i didn't really want to write a card, i shan't waste my time making/writing/sending out a card which meant nothing. Sadly though, I had planned to make something like 10 cards but only a couple were made/sent out. and for the 20 pple i made cookies for only 6 packs got to friends whom i had time to see. I had planned to get 15 presents, but only gave 5. To be fair, the 10 cards i had planned were NOT customary. It's just that, after pondering across what seemed like years, i just didn't have any inspiration with words nor card-ideas that were real about how i truly felt and wished for whomever i was writing to. Better send out 3 sincere cards than write 50 customary 'merry christmases' with some christmas motif with no love or real affection.

Sorry friends..i've just been pretty down in the dumps. But really, the apologies should go to myself since more than any friend who's happy to receive a card, i am the happier one making and giving them.

having said that, i still had a busy christmas season. Christmas eve was spent at my uncles' and then went caroling with daniel, before settling at Daniel's place for afters till 11 or so, and then rushing to church for christmas mass at BSC (ry was kind enough to answer my desperate call.., and during which, bro sent some love over the airwaves). Met ruo and chriss the next afternoon(supposed to be morning) to say merry christmas, before heading to bishan for christmas lunch (was teatime by the time i arrived) with the cousins. I spend dinnertime with one melancholy C at Swissotel the stamford. We shared a beef salami and mushroom pizza and some calamari which were good. I'd say that after all these years, level 71 was still a nice place to look over the night lights of Singapore.

Now that christmas has passed by, i spent today playing soccer, when it rained halfway. Half downhearted (wasted my time getting there), half glad (since i truly had no mood), i showered and took a trip to town with soccer guys for dinner and window shopping..

and then i'll come home for a 1 hour nap, and wake up to some left-over chilli crab and fried rice from last night, before heading out to the small park outside for some reflection and music. The moon is so beautiful tonight. Without doing it justice, it was like an incandescent child trying to hide it's brilliance behind the translucent curtains of the wispy clouds.

may tomorrow come swiftly.

Why never call?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

oh wait.

For just a moment, my life looked like it was ready to start again!

Anyways, presenting....Flavors of the month.

6thDec.MarmaladePantry.

6pm Tea stops. And we arrive at 5.50pm. The rush wasn't worth it.

7thDec.NationalMuseum.MBS.

Cameron friend of friend of friend shakes my hand with conviction. We slalom toward MBS but not before i stroll through Pompeii, and Singapore's past. A lonely end to the night.

8thDec.Level40.Home.

Where else should one be on a cool night? Level 40 of course, where u could see the pretty lights of the sunny island. Except there is no sun.

9thDec.Waraku.Tangs.

Finally meeting again. It's waraku this time, and as always, we share food. A taste for her, and the rest for me. Conned to bloatedness.

10thDec.SantoukaRamen.

Can it get any more tender? Pork cheek shio ramen.

Had the cheek to sneer to myself. Where are u heading mate?

13thDec.Wine&Cheese.Home.

Wine and Cheese never goes wrong.

Bro and i we fire one up. It was good.

I saw her that night.

15thDec.Chilis.TanglinMall.

Gotta check out the value-for-money set meal she said.

We glance across the table at each other in knowing silence, as we survey the offer.

Must be telepathy through the sharpness from the folds from the corner of the pillow i think.

The look says it all, as she settles on pasta.

Me I settle on Fajitas Trio, 38.90 worth of value.

16th.Taka.

Tash finally back home and we coast about at Toast. Carrot cake was OK.

Met Thomas in person, nice bloke him.

We could talk all day about anime and football and politics..but shopping follows.

17thDec.SuntecCity.Paulaners.

Finally i meet without the stress of exams.

Daniel and i arrive late, he from work, me from shopping.

Where is Wong Shuwen? Puking out the remnants of yesternight is never TEROFIC (courtesy of zhi).

18thDec.GiantTurfCity.Home.

Dad and i we drive down to Giant at Turf city where i help myself to kiwi 42 below vodka (for Bree) and wine (for party on the 22nd). Head home and enjoy the evening with Daniel and Randy Orton. Some things fail from the beginning but never ever fails to entertain you. Daniel whips out the green fairy from his underpants and it begins. Tinkerbell works the magic that heavy snowfall doesn't.

The Aftermath.

20thDec.Relish.3InchSin.Coronation.AMKMacdonalds.SinMing.

Wei and i we stroll to hatched. She must've wanted me sliced in a gutter after the sign read, 'closed on mondays'. We stroll a long way back to cluny relish. On the way out, Wei decides that she's had enough of her crummy sandals. She kicks her sandals in disdain and they give way. Gal i always knew the 3.90 u saved would come in handy someday. A hideous pair of flip flops save the day. Not after the devilish 3 inch sin molten cake though. T'was truly great. I always remember my promises, but more than that, i remember yours.

And then the council convenes. Jiale has returned from HK bringing us wives from afar. Well not exactly. But their biscuits do just as well. Lao Po Bing(s) all around. We stop by Sin Ming after for some Ban Mian and Some beer. We laugh, we cry, and we sigh. We relive the memories of old, and chill till out eyelids fold.

~~~

But the 21st of December arrives. And they're sullen and tired but hopeful..No cards, baking or presents. just tears bleeding from a weeping heart.

Tomorrow kenny leaves. and the long layoff from baking and card-making must resume.

Day after, Lunch with C and W is prescribed.

oh ho.

and i will wait.

It's a damn cold night. Tryin to figure out this life. Won't u take me by the hand take me somewhere new. I don't know who u are but I'm..I'm with u.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

another rough night.

on the precipice of..

Application for job simply means: the end of whimsical loafing-abouts, the end of irrational musings, the end of coloured hair, the end of talking loudly, the end of living from day to day, the end of a heap of things that make me smile.

The next few days are gonna have a butterfly effect on the fabric of my life.


And as 'Reality' comes crashing down. I realize a sad truth......
i don't really want to work just yet! i realize that as i am now, i'm not yet ready to dive into being a working human. I don't want to start have a working life now. Oh craps. It seems that there is a discrepancy between what is expected of me, and what i want to do. There are still many many things hampering my clarity of thought and decision-making. Emotions, expectations, desires and dreams...those dreams...

my dreams are.......

Of Dreams, Desires, and Decision.

My dreams they have been interesting in many ways.

If i was confused, i am much worse now.

Dreams have the darnest way of being ridiculous and unbelievable, and also our most sincerest thoughts and desires.

Our desires and decisions may or may not go hand in hand, and this why we have confusing dreams.
Our dreams are our uncensored desires, bounded by the rules of our morals. Our actions in real life are our censored embodied thoughts, bounded by the rules of Society's morals.

sighs.

Rough night; Sunny day after.

After the rough night came the sunniest day for a long while.

quote of the day:

"i hope work's gonna be sufficiently challenged but also easy!" (ong, 2010)

.

deep in a dense forest, a girl sleeps.
deep in the vast waters, a boy weeps.
She sleeps alone.
He weeps alone.
How can they meet?

reality checked.

all in a day's work.

beefnoodles.simlim.uniqlo313.orchardcentral.centrepoint

tmrw=raoul.grandhyatt

i am not grumps

Pride can stand a thousand trials; the strong will never fall. But watching stars without you, my soul cried.

In love, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder.

would u share my dreams if you knew what i was dreaming?

to the tune before i sleep,
Bless the dream that will beat-

tonight, to her, whom i'll meet,
Hold me close cos i need-

you, who care, being so sweet,
Then my heart i'll let u keep-

always.

the end

is it really the end?

as one door closes another opens.

Exam-luck to make up for everything-else-luck

Developmental processes Examination is special. 5 days before the paper, 6 review essay questions were released, of which, 3 will be replicated as exam questions. For the exam, we are allowed to bring in notes to help us write a good essay. Can prepare notes, can bring in notes, surely no problem right? wrong. I accidentally left my notes at home. and i only found out whilst sitting outside the exam hall, 15 minutes before the start of the paper.


Chan, B. J. (2010) Life is funny: A series of unfortunate events that leads to serendipity. Journal of Life, 1(1), 1-2.

Abstract: At an earlier event on Saturday, I decided that i did not want to study, and i went to play soccer. While playing soccer, i rolled my ankle so badly i couldn't walk. Since i cannot walk, i cannot leave my room. Since i cannot leave my room, i had nothing to do except study. The old man up there certainly has a sense of humor, using a brilliant paradigm to force me to study. In the present experiment, I test the old man's propensity to joke around in my direst moments, albeit having my best intentions at heart. Results support the idea that He is indeed a comedian.

Introduction
Friends offered me paper to write new notes, as well as some citations that i could not remember accurately. Yet, how much can one do in 10 minutes? haha. Oh wells. I did the what i could, which was sketchy notes for The first 3 questions (I started from the first question, so Qn 1, 2 and 3). Too bad for the rest of the questions (4, 5, 6). Alas, t'was time to enter the exam hall with a prayer and some statistics.

Null Hypothesis: A question for which i have no notes for appears. Therefore, Bryan is a Moron. 95% chance.

Hypothesis 1: Qn 1, 2, and 3 come out. The reason for this, well, the old man is really something. Having pulled a fast one on me over the weekend, decides that i'm quite the fan of comedy. Chance = 0.5 x 0.4 x 0.25 = 0.05
Nice.

Procedure & Results:
Paper is flipped over, Qn 1, 2 and 3 is tested. Null hypothesis rejected.

Discussion:
The results suggest with 95% confidence that the old man up there is quite the comedian, and well, although this one wasn't that fun, i must admit that it was an awesome ride.

Acknowledgements:
Mavis for the notebook paper! Vera for lending me the review questions script!
WenLin, Vera, Sarah, Sandy, Mavis, Audrey (and whoever i missed out) for all the information you lent me during those 10 hectic minutes!