Eat.Laugh.Love

Welcome to the garden

And, you know, the fact is, if you believe in evolution, we all have a common ancestor, and we all have a common ancestry with the plant in the lobby. This is what evolution tells us. And, it's true. It's kind of unbelievable. -Jeff Hawkins

Such Pretty flowers.

Some are considered weeds.

And others give us sustenence.

How in the world did we ever turn so useless and ugly?

wow tasmania wow

Sitting on the floor waiting to check in at Transit area. Had to walk something like 200 metres just to get to a separate building which houses only tiger. Is this exclusive or discrimination?

Clear but fluffy...Just like all the presentations i did.

View from the garage.

some shrubs outside in the front yard. Makes one wanna pick up gardening.

Prettiest weed ever. Not the smoking type of course.

Tassie Grown.

Didn't take long before someone (more like everyone) decided a trip to woolworth's was of paramount importance. Yay!

"Technological mishaps occur due to human error."

You gotta love the age of technology. So many choices. So much variety. Amidst all this, i find myself lost. Please dear reader, i need some advice now.

We marched onwards through the gates with the wishes of bro within me and the journey begins. The very first hurdle, however soon presents itself.

Immigration in Singapore for Singaporeans have been not too long ago become nothing more than a 30 second gantry check. Flip to the first page of your passport, flip it face down, insert the biometric page into the scanner emitting that cool bright red laser glow. Cutting edge stuff indeed as within seconds, the gantry opens allowing the passport holder to waltz right through for a thumb print scan where the 2nd gantry awaits. This time round, i was held back for all of 10 seconds.

It must be said there was an error of judgement on my part. My my my why in the world did i let my dad come in right after me? He really should've gone last. The excited hound was of course raring to go, chomping at the bit to prove his youthful exuberance. The system being idiot-proof was of course no problem for him as he slipped seamlessly through. Just like the proud dog who'd accomplished what was expected, he stood there tail wagging in the air as he turned back and willed mum and grandma through them barriers.

My grandma, being uneducated in English, was finding the instructions more than tricky. Her mastery of english was similar to that of a flying pig, in that, it was non-existent. The proud hound who came through second, of course by now decided to go one better. Nothing better than showing off your mastery by actually going to the gantry and shouting for it to open right? WRONG. The sensor beeped, and poor grandma got caught in limbo between the 1st and second barriers, as by now, there was a freeze in the system, and the gantry would not open.The poor woman was clearly panicking, as was the security officer who was yelping at the seemingly deaf hound, who by now could only hear his own voice impairing grandma to put her thumb on the scanner. Not much help it did her to follow the instructions though, as security officers scurried about trying to undo the damage.

"madam you have to come back this way for the manual immigration checks." Too late the proud hound realized his mistake as both my mum and grandma were ushered away into the distance to the manual checkpoint. As grandma stumbled step upon step, clearly not that adept at walking, the disappointment was obvious on his face and the man turned around shattered from embarrassment and i unforgivingly told him that i will have none of this again, and to keep his wild and menacing wits in check.

We were running late by now and i found ah ma a wheelchair that could allow us to move faster to gate C15 which was really light years from the immigration checkpoint. We need to install a teleportation service in Changi Airport if we are to be called the worlds' best airport i say.

Thank heavens that everything went smoothly from there. As usual i nearly tore my heart apart as the plane took off. My worsest habit in-flight is imagining the worst possible outcomes, and all the things that i wanted to accomplish in life that i have yet to do, and also all the sadness i'd leave behind me as the plane engines stalled on takeoff, and the wheels coming off……only in my head of course. Apart from me, the rest of the passengers whose eyes were closed on takeoff, were actually sleeping for real. The takeoff went pretty smoothly i think (that's myself acting unperturbed by the shitty takeoff. and yes, all takeoffs are shitty).

Next came the most anticipated part of the flight. The movies of course! i happily plugged myself into the ICE system on emirates hoping to enjoy the award winning entertainment platform and variety. I decided on watching a movie i told myself i won't even bother catch on DVD. Catching it in a plane would do the movie justice i suppose since it's not at the cinema, neither is it on dvd, so i flipped prompty to channel 102. The opening scene of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of The Dawn started showing, and the excellent sound effects came exploding through my senses, through my right ear…. WTH?! Why was this happening? i checked with other sets of headphones but the problem i think was in the plug-point and not the earphones. There was a problem and i was faced with the dilemma of requesting a seat elsewhere or forgoing my movie marathon. So much for technological possibilities in entertainment when they can't even maintain the simple medium properly!

I managed to cheat myself into thinking that i could do the movie marathon on the way home to Singapore, and instead catch up on some sleep instead. After all, we'll reach Melbourne in the wee hours of the morning, and there's no way i'll survive the day should i stay awake watching movies overnight. If i slept in the afternoon on the first day there, i'd probably sleep real late, and screw up my body clock, and lose many many hours on an already pretty short stay in Hobart (14 days). And so i tried to get comfy, and as i leaned to the right, i spotted a stewardess pushing the dinner cart through the lane.

Dinner was good and here comes the next technological wonder of the plane ride. Have u wondered what is the most amazing ergonomical invention the airplane design industry ever created? It has to of course be the tray table. Amazingly compact, and also pretty shaky but stable at the same time. It's hard to explain this phenomenon. It IS pretty flimsy, held to the chair in front by only two metal arms, and if really isn't something i'd trust to lean on. Yet, when u put a tray of food and refreshments on it, the tray and it's contents rarely ever spill, even in pretty strong turbulence! This is a wonder i think!!

And without stopping there in my praise of the tray table, i just simply MUST say this. The table provides a secondary luxury for the user. Should the contents actually spill due to human error, the table actually provides very good protection as it is directly hanging over the passengers legs. There is one thing lacking with the design though: which is that It does not protect the innocent, kind, and unsuspecting boy sitting in his brand new River Island jeans beside his clumsy father. I found this out through an unfortunate series of events which also taught me to have tissue on standby at all times when traveling. The event surely left me in an interesting state, one that was kinda ironic because really, more than anything else, the overwhelming feeling about me was that i was leaking (the release of water), rather than fuming (the release of steam).

And that brings me back to the opening paragraph where i made a desperate call for advice. They say that when u first buy a new pair of jeans, you don't want to wash it for at least 6 months. Can someone advice me as to whether spilling orange juice on it would thus make the ill-effects of washing your jeans redundant, because it has already been wet? This sticky feeling around my thigh, will it wear out after a period of usage should i choose not to wash my brand new jeans?

more importantly, it's been 1 day into my trip and my travel companions seem a bit over-enthusiatic if not very incompetent. I really am at my wits end dealing with the situation. I am actually forgoing sleep to write this in the middle of a flight. Please advice.

Love,

desperate squirrel.

You're Still The One

imperfections.

It is all your imperfections, your faults, your quirks that make you you, and it is all that i love.

a hug

all i needed i think, was a hug.

The end is the beginning is the end.

numbness. forgetfulness. nothingness.

Now,

Love me cos we love,

Ignore me cos you hurt.

Forget me cos you must,

and Leave me cos i'm dirt.

We pay the price for you you know,

and in time we shall know..

numbness. forgetfulness. nothingness.

That's all u grow.

and not our love,

that u stow.

Store it or burn it or hide it,

but already you've bought,

and forget it you cannot.

What wrong is there to right?

what IS wrong and what's right?

All's fair in love and war,

i fell beneath the water,

and then i saw...

nothingness. forgetfulness. numbness.

you know how much you have me

going solo

went solo for lunch, and den pool, and then NTUC, and then cook and eat dinner all solo. Another great day

A great day

Don't you ever do anything to hurt me.

school life for the swimmer

The time is now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl8mpAvTm_Y

time

When the time comes for things to end, end it. For time does not heal all wounds.

The melody of a heart, brokened.

Just like glass shatters, so does the heart.

It cracks, and then gives way, first into broken panels, and then it hits the ground, and into terrible shards they become, and then into dust the crumble, and finally, nothingness.

God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'
In that instant it started to pour,
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of the time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name...

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love...

Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save...

Till death do us part

Mors certa; hora incerta.


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a hectic day

what a hectic day! rush rush did some RC stuff for about an hour before speeding off to St margaret's Primary school to play soccer with Daniel and his church friends! And after that daniel gave me a lift to ACS barker and i played soccer once again! it's been a long time since i last met chang so it's probably a gd idea that i went. Also, priscilla foong was playing soccer?! wow i've never seen a girl play soccer that well! anyways, soccer from 3-7 is no joke for these old bones!!!

after soccer i got a lift from chang the man to Novena where i met Zouli and Andrew and other soccer guys for CNY dinner! It's always nice to meet them cos they're such a fun-loving FOC bunch hahaha can really talk cock all day..In fact, the guys i played soccer with at AC Barker all talk cock so much it's always fun to be about them! haha. OoOps. Fact of the Day: Both bunch of guys are from ACS. No wonder!!! hahaha.

Anyhows, i made my way here to pandan valley to keep this girl company, who has been studying away throughout this CNY period and hasn't seen the sun or breathed fresh air for a few days now. Poor her. Gonna have ice cream and then go home to catch the Chelsea Liverpool match later. My friend predicted 7-0. I told him liverpool weren't THAT good. 2-0 is more apt. We shall see. Suarez with a brace would mean fat-nando torres is long forgotten.

byebye chicken pox

Finally got over chicken pox which hath been plaguing me for the past 2 weeks. Thoughts for the moment.

-I want to eat nice food.

-Hurray to Japan and taiwan.

-We always please those who dun matter that much to us, and take for granted those who mean the world to us.

-I am still largely emotionless.

day 3

fever fever fever. and also gastric at night. how to make the acid coming up to your throat stop?

chicken pox day 2

i am in serious discomfort. itching everywhere.

iphone 3gs dead

don't bother with an iphone case. It wun save your iphone when it falls into the toilet bowl.

Weather

My heart rains the heaviest in january.

i know i know..

i know that u are doing it for yourself. but...what about me? i'm doing it for you too.

i just wanted to share with you

Sunday, dark has turned to grey~

qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm

when did i last have short black hair again? it must be something like an entire year or so!

the emptiness of christmas

Emo again. what's in a gift?

When gifts turn to dust, sincere words and true feelings are all that remain. Sadly though, halfway through cookie baking and card-making, i lost the drive to continue. Simply put, i just had nothing left in the tank to put into these cards/cookies/gifts. My friends know me as someone who'd put thought and heart into my gifts, hating to give out meaningless trinkets or useless dust-collecting paperweights. And so, true to current form, i doubt i've ever given out so little love over christmas ever.

Seeing no point in writing the customary card, i decided that if i didn't really want to write a card, i shan't waste my time making/writing/sending out a card which meant nothing. Sadly though, I had planned to make something like 10 cards but only a couple were made/sent out. and for the 20 pple i made cookies for only 6 packs got to friends whom i had time to see. I had planned to get 15 presents, but only gave 5. To be fair, the 10 cards i had planned were NOT customary. It's just that, after pondering across what seemed like years, i just didn't have any inspiration with words nor card-ideas that were real about how i truly felt and wished for whomever i was writing to. Better send out 3 sincere cards than write 50 customary 'merry christmases' with some christmas motif with no love or real affection.

Sorry friends..i've just been pretty down in the dumps. But really, the apologies should go to myself since more than any friend who's happy to receive a card, i am the happier one making and giving them.

having said that, i still had a busy christmas season. Christmas eve was spent at my uncles' and then went caroling with daniel, before settling at Daniel's place for afters till 11 or so, and then rushing to church for christmas mass at BSC (ry was kind enough to answer my desperate call.., and during which, bro sent some love over the airwaves). Met ruo and chriss the next afternoon(supposed to be morning) to say merry christmas, before heading to bishan for christmas lunch (was teatime by the time i arrived) with the cousins. I spend dinnertime with one melancholy C at Swissotel the stamford. We shared a beef salami and mushroom pizza and some calamari which were good. I'd say that after all these years, level 71 was still a nice place to look over the night lights of Singapore.

Now that christmas has passed by, i spent today playing soccer, when it rained halfway. Half downhearted (wasted my time getting there), half glad (since i truly had no mood), i showered and took a trip to town with soccer guys for dinner and window shopping..

and then i'll come home for a 1 hour nap, and wake up to some left-over chilli crab and fried rice from last night, before heading out to the small park outside for some reflection and music. The moon is so beautiful tonight. Without doing it justice, it was like an incandescent child trying to hide it's brilliance behind the translucent curtains of the wispy clouds.

may tomorrow come swiftly.

Why never call?

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oh wait.

For just a moment, my life looked like it was ready to start again!

Anyways, presenting....Flavors of the month.

6thDec.MarmaladePantry.

6pm Tea stops. And we arrive at 5.50pm. The rush wasn't worth it.

7thDec.NationalMuseum.MBS.

Cameron friend of friend of friend shakes my hand with conviction. We slalom toward MBS but not before i stroll through Pompeii, and Singapore's past. A lonely end to the night.

8thDec.Level40.Home.

Where else should one be on a cool night? Level 40 of course, where u could see the pretty lights of the sunny island. Except there is no sun.

9thDec.Waraku.Tangs.

Finally meeting again. It's waraku this time, and as always, we share food. A taste for her, and the rest for me. Conned to bloatedness.

10thDec.SantoukaRamen.

Can it get any more tender? Pork cheek shio ramen.

Had the cheek to sneer to myself. Where are u heading mate?

13thDec.Wine&Cheese.Home.

Wine and Cheese never goes wrong.

Bro and i we fire one up. It was good.

I saw her that night.

15thDec.Chilis.TanglinMall.

Gotta check out the value-for-money set meal she said.

We glance across the table at each other in knowing silence, as we survey the offer.

Must be telepathy through the sharpness from the folds from the corner of the pillow i think.

The look says it all, as she settles on pasta.

Me I settle on Fajitas Trio, 38.90 worth of value.

16th.Taka.

Tash finally back home and we coast about at Toast. Carrot cake was OK.

Met Thomas in person, nice bloke him.

We could talk all day about anime and football and politics..but shopping follows.

17thDec.SuntecCity.Paulaners.

Finally i meet without the stress of exams.

Daniel and i arrive late, he from work, me from shopping.

Where is Wong Shuwen? Puking out the remnants of yesternight is never TEROFIC (courtesy of zhi).

18thDec.GiantTurfCity.Home.

Dad and i we drive down to Giant at Turf city where i help myself to kiwi 42 below vodka (for Bree) and wine (for party on the 22nd). Head home and enjoy the evening with Daniel and Randy Orton. Some things fail from the beginning but never ever fails to entertain you. Daniel whips out the green fairy from his underpants and it begins. Tinkerbell works the magic that heavy snowfall doesn't.

The Aftermath.

20thDec.Relish.3InchSin.Coronation.AMKMacdonalds.SinMing.

Wei and i we stroll to hatched. She must've wanted me sliced in a gutter after the sign read, 'closed on mondays'. We stroll a long way back to cluny relish. On the way out, Wei decides that she's had enough of her crummy sandals. She kicks her sandals in disdain and they give way. Gal i always knew the 3.90 u saved would come in handy someday. A hideous pair of flip flops save the day. Not after the devilish 3 inch sin molten cake though. T'was truly great. I always remember my promises, but more than that, i remember yours.

And then the council convenes. Jiale has returned from HK bringing us wives from afar. Well not exactly. But their biscuits do just as well. Lao Po Bing(s) all around. We stop by Sin Ming after for some Ban Mian and Some beer. We laugh, we cry, and we sigh. We relive the memories of old, and chill till out eyelids fold.

~~~

But the 21st of December arrives. And they're sullen and tired but hopeful..No cards, baking or presents. just tears bleeding from a weeping heart.

Tomorrow kenny leaves. and the long layoff from baking and card-making must resume.

Day after, Lunch with C and W is prescribed.

oh ho.

and i will wait.

It's a damn cold night. Tryin to figure out this life. Won't u take me by the hand take me somewhere new. I don't know who u are but I'm..I'm with u.


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another rough night.

on the precipice of..

Application for job simply means: the end of whimsical loafing-abouts, the end of irrational musings, the end of coloured hair, the end of talking loudly, the end of living from day to day, the end of a heap of things that make me smile.

The next few days are gonna have a butterfly effect on the fabric of my life.


And as 'Reality' comes crashing down. I realize a sad truth......
i don't really want to work just yet! i realize that as i am now, i'm not yet ready to dive into being a working human. I don't want to start have a working life now. Oh craps. It seems that there is a discrepancy between what is expected of me, and what i want to do. There are still many many things hampering my clarity of thought and decision-making. Emotions, expectations, desires and dreams...those dreams...

my dreams are.......

Of Dreams, Desires, and Decision.

My dreams they have been interesting in many ways.

If i was confused, i am much worse now.

Dreams have the darnest way of being ridiculous and unbelievable, and also our most sincerest thoughts and desires.

Our desires and decisions may or may not go hand in hand, and this why we have confusing dreams.
Our dreams are our uncensored desires, bounded by the rules of our morals. Our actions in real life are our censored embodied thoughts, bounded by the rules of Society's morals.

sighs.

Rough night; Sunny day after.

After the rough night came the sunniest day for a long while.

quote of the day:

"i hope work's gonna be sufficiently challenged but also easy!" (ong, 2010)

.

deep in a dense forest, a girl sleeps.
deep in the vast waters, a boy weeps.
She sleeps alone.
He weeps alone.
How can they meet?

reality checked.

all in a day's work.

beefnoodles.simlim.uniqlo313.orchardcentral.centrepoint

tmrw=raoul.grandhyatt

i am not grumps

Pride can stand a thousand trials; the strong will never fall. But watching stars without you, my soul cried.

In love, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder.

would u share my dreams if you knew what i was dreaming?

to the tune before i sleep,
Bless the dream that will beat-

tonight, to her, whom i'll meet,
Hold me close cos i need-

you, who care, being so sweet,
Then my heart i'll let u keep-

always.

the end

is it really the end?

as one door closes another opens.

Exam-luck to make up for everything-else-luck

Developmental processes Examination is special. 5 days before the paper, 6 review essay questions were released, of which, 3 will be replicated as exam questions. For the exam, we are allowed to bring in notes to help us write a good essay. Can prepare notes, can bring in notes, surely no problem right? wrong. I accidentally left my notes at home. and i only found out whilst sitting outside the exam hall, 15 minutes before the start of the paper.


Chan, B. J. (2010) Life is funny: A series of unfortunate events that leads to serendipity. Journal of Life, 1(1), 1-2.

Abstract: At an earlier event on Saturday, I decided that i did not want to study, and i went to play soccer. While playing soccer, i rolled my ankle so badly i couldn't walk. Since i cannot walk, i cannot leave my room. Since i cannot leave my room, i had nothing to do except study. The old man up there certainly has a sense of humor, using a brilliant paradigm to force me to study. In the present experiment, I test the old man's propensity to joke around in my direst moments, albeit having my best intentions at heart. Results support the idea that He is indeed a comedian.

Introduction
Friends offered me paper to write new notes, as well as some citations that i could not remember accurately. Yet, how much can one do in 10 minutes? haha. Oh wells. I did the what i could, which was sketchy notes for The first 3 questions (I started from the first question, so Qn 1, 2 and 3). Too bad for the rest of the questions (4, 5, 6). Alas, t'was time to enter the exam hall with a prayer and some statistics.

Null Hypothesis: A question for which i have no notes for appears. Therefore, Bryan is a Moron. 95% chance.

Hypothesis 1: Qn 1, 2, and 3 come out. The reason for this, well, the old man is really something. Having pulled a fast one on me over the weekend, decides that i'm quite the fan of comedy. Chance = 0.5 x 0.4 x 0.25 = 0.05
Nice.

Procedure & Results:
Paper is flipped over, Qn 1, 2 and 3 is tested. Null hypothesis rejected.

Discussion:
The results suggest with 95% confidence that the old man up there is quite the comedian, and well, although this one wasn't that fun, i must admit that it was an awesome ride.

Acknowledgements:
Mavis for the notebook paper! Vera for lending me the review questions script!
WenLin, Vera, Sarah, Sandy, Mavis, Audrey (and whoever i missed out) for all the information you lent me during those 10 hectic minutes!

Questions that bug you at 2.30am

What makes a person love another? What makes a person feel closeness with someone else? Can this closeness be explained? Can Chemistry be explained?


What makes a person end a relationship? Can chemistry be replaced? Can love be replaced? Could both be put in place?


Are we in relationships that have futures? or are we in relationships that make us happy? What matters? What doesn't?

No it's not for you..

..just a nice song.

the defendant is found guilty.

Of broken promises and untold truths: What lies beyond the horizon is a world of guilt, not opportunity, for only the remorseless looks back without a heavy heart.

Supper is served at 1.26am...

...A full cup of serenity, with a hint of meloncholy. It's warm. And it feels good in the tummy...but anything would right now. This never-ending hunger is sickening.

It seems that what's left after venting your spleen.....what's left is: emptiness. For i am perpetually hungry.

so just Give Me That Love.

A nice chill out song to go with the mood.

strange happenings

how did i wake up without my shirt on?!

lull of a lonely prince

Angel of old,

salve my soul.

Heal mine heart

and seal this hole.

A cut too deep

that kills my sleep,

still ties my hands

and binds my feet.

For late tonight,

there is no light.

No warmth within,

yet too cold outside.

O sands of time,

forgive my whine.

And wash pristine,

this past of mine.

Go ahead and Syphon my night

and usher in the morning light.

Broken phone booth

Am i alive?

or thoughts that drift away?

Does summer come for everyone?

Can humans do what prophets say?

If i die

Before i learn to speak,

Can money pay for all the days

I lived awake but half asleep?

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i know it's hard to keep an open heart

when even friends seem out to harm you.

But if you heal can heal a broken heart,

wouldn't time be out to charm you?

Don't cry

And when you are in need of someone my heart won't deny you. So many seem so lonely with no one left to cry to


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The text that never came.

Might.

Burrowing rabbit; Emerging rabbit; In search of the white rabbit

Coming in to the light

as he doesn't want to be alone.

But the sun burns into his sight

as reality hits home.

Emerging from the ground,

oblivious to the sounds.

Mine eyes dazzled by the sun,

I left my senses in remand.

I pray for us dear friend

that somehow we'll find the key.

And as we stumble across the land,

may we the white rabbit see.

An afternoon piece of nugget with curry sauce

Alternating currents overhead,

lights flicker and nothing being said.

Smell of mac nuggets on my hand,

i feel like i need a fan.

Should have had a double quarter pounder,

what an uncanny yet pleasant encounter.

-shaun ang.

the Eggxeggerating riddler.

In a marble hall as white as milk

Lined with skin as soft as silk

Within a fountain crystal clear

A golden apple doth appear

No doors are there to this stronghold

Yet thieves break in and steal the gold

Heart of the meek.

the blinding ray Shone threw the haze

bringing to light the truth of mine gaze

listen not to words of man

but sooner follow the trail of sand

Where sheesh may safely graze

Pity about how things turned out;

but i never thought it turn this way.

You were just a friend (no more);

and i never intended for you to sway.

Your thoughts differ from mine,

and really they're out of line.

I can tell your pain;

but i can't take your blame.

Would u rather i had ignored you?

I'm sorry but i am not them.

So don't expect me to do what you are used to.

and stop being defensive like a clam.

It is true that now i don't understand how you feel;

but truer still that i never understood your thrill.

So i hope that through your self-imposed winding maze,

you'll find your way to where sheesh may safely graze.

The Morning Benders - Virgins (Exclusive new track for Blogotheque)

All my lovers around me like virgins screen today
Waist-deep in the water, pushing my body away

What makes you go, to put the past away?
Oh how many drops can you squeeze out to explain
What happened one day?

And one of them stays behind and trails me from afar
I saw her eyes, lit up like colors in the dark
But when our faces met, I was half a world away
It still shot in my breath as I turned to say

We meet another way
Where you wont recognize my face
Can we meet one way or another you wont, you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up

When we meet one day you won’t recognize my face
When we meet one way or another you wont you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up

And one day it suits me, the next it simply leaves me dry
It comes on like a lifetime, it passes into morning light
How beautiful it was to be anything at all
But somehow it strikes me, the timing came a bit off

When we meet another day you won’t recognize my face
When we meet one way or another you wont you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up
When we meet one way you won’t recognize my face
When we meet one way or another you wont you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up

A wine and a smile.

A nice low-key chill out evening.

Had a nice dinner with special-k at the vines@novena and treated myself to lobster/ribeye combo set with a nice red.

We later adjourned to Haato@ulu pandan for icecream and waffles on K's recommendation. T'was good i must say.

There's always something nice about having a nice glass of wine with someone whom you've known for ages. In the moment you tip your glass to your lips, this air of nostalgia fills the air. For that moment in the bustling restaurant, it was almost as though time grinded to a stop, as poignant moments that we shared came to the fore.

T'was not too long ago when we sat side-by-side outside KK Hospital's 7-eleven, each having ourselves a jelly-slurpee-sundae after a morning training session. It was a funny moment that i'll always look back upon with a lot of fondness. We were two 13-year olds planning to start a swim school together. Grand plans indeed. Haha. Interestingly enough, while our mutual friend has actually gone ahead and done just that, we're still sitting on that blue metal bench enjoying our ice creams and each others company, except that the blue metal bench of the past was now stylish wooden tables and chairs at Haato :) If there are times where fate cannot break the bonds formed by man, this could possibly be one.

As two 12 year-olds, we were set on paths that would see us become totally different people. In many ways, we're complete opposites. One a Blue and gold in heart, the other a green warrior. He was the ever-quiet aspirer, focused and determined. Me the loud-spoken philosopher, seeing things differently was my forte. He had everything that i lacked, drive and focus. We'll be in rival schools, and then take on different areas of study, in rival universities. He's always got everything planned, me unplanned. Our backgrounds cannot be more different, our ideals different. Somehow, one way or another, like the sun and moon, the earth couldn't get rid of us.

And as suddenly as time stopped for me, i find myself in the present again, as the bustling sounds of food being served, topics being shared, orders being taken, flood back into my consciousness. The blur of my surroundings gain focus again as i find myself sitting in a family-oriented restaurant called 'the vines'.

Lost for words i am suddenly.

...Good wine, my friend, good wine.

in a daze

天使の微笑み

A Quartet of Characters.

Ode to mane;

Recluse to light;

Yelp of beak.

-

Click of keys;

Surfing of sites;

Yielding to thoughts.

-

Sinking of posture;

Ache of spine.

-

Adhering to noise;

Beholden to notes.

just another afternoon

birds fly home, dawn to dusk, why cant time pass just as fast.

monotonous voice, lights are dim, i feel like eating ice cream.

mind starts to wander, eyes are heavy, now i feel like mash potato with gravy.

playing of gongs, arms start to ache, an afternoon slice of cheesecake.

Shaun Ang, 5th October 2010.

It's a certainty.

A life is time;
they teach you growing up.
But the seconds ticking killed us all
a million years before the fall.

The key ingredient

I think that i have discovered the key ingredient that keeps friends together~~

Reliance.

Expectations

in construction.managing expectations.

stardust.

You light the skies up above me.

A star, so bright you blind me.

Don't close your eyes.

Don't fade away.

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star,

If you stay with me girl, we can rule the world.

Yeah you and me we can light up the sky,

If you stay by my side, we can rule the world.

If walls break down, I will comfort you.

If angels cry, I'll be there for you.

You've saved my soul.

Don't leave me now.

My red sky

If you'd float into my red sky,

I would love to make you smile.

hair of red

hair of red

nothing being said

he walked past the gate

while she wait

she wonders, "why is he late"

guess its just my fate

but it has already been made

lets just go on a date

-Shaun Ang 28th Sept 2010

Peripheral Alertness.

The sounds of button crunching as the person perched behind me checks his mobile. The blinking of the girl beside me blinking with her mascaraed lashes. The twitching leaned head of the bloke beside me cross-armed. Two chairs left she chuffs her handouts on the table to align them. The girl in front sits hand on lap listening intently. Beside her another girl scribbles incessantly..

It seems i've zoned out totally at approximately an hour and a half into class.

If one concentrates on the sounds around them, it's really hard to attain silence isn't it? Perhaps silence is actually a state of mind. *ponder.ponder*

War and peace.

We Laugh

We cry

We fight

They die

-

They talk

They lie

They cheat

We die

-

It's a farce.

We'll all die.

-

So Here,

have some of mine.

And i'll take your wine.

And then we'll show them,

that we men,

we'll walk hand-in-hand.

-

“I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.” -Ghandi

My world on 26th of September 2010

A change of perspectives

A change in flair.

A change of views

A change of hair.

He turns on the news

and for the moment he weeps.

For all the hatred

and blood in heaps.

Now why can't we all get along?

in Jeruselem, in Siam, or in japan~

What're all our children among?

How far can this violence span?

They tell us this:

The greatest thing as they live,

Is to love and be loved in return.

But they should just learn to love.

and not the rewards that love should give.

I've learnt alot

but all i have not.

i save it for my brother,

and one day we'll save each other.

She learns something new,

something she never knew;

But she gives up

cos it's too much for her to chew.

But i am wrong.

He is wrong.

They are wrong.

She is wrong.

We're all wrong; And that makes us alright.

a very white and pristine moon.

Teo Heng is the type of name the usually precedes some sorta food...for example you could have Teo Heng Porridge or perhaps Teo Heng Tao Sah Piah...but karaoke?! Certainly sounds as beng as it gets! Moreover, when i called over to Katong shopping centre to make a reservation, the attendant greeted with a "wei?" That certainly set the alarms off.

Anyhow, the place was quite nice in actuality. The scene i envisaged prior to arrival was a shoddy broken-down small room with not-so-good equipment but a pretty good song selection (what ah bengs lack in style they make up with good song knowledge). To my surprise, it was well-lit, and acceptably spacious (but ours was a 'medium' room, so i fear for the small rooms), with OK sound systems~ The best part really is that it's kinda no-frills so they don't include drinks in the package and so the room we got was like $20 for 3 hours, and $10/subsequent hr?! madly cheap IMO~ If you want canned drinks they cost something like a dollar each which is pretty affordable too! I'd totally recommend it in spite of its dodgy name that only bengs/lians would know it haha! I would pick it over Kbox anytime!

Company was good as usual with the music-gang! Special mention goes out to CSY who was sick yet still made it down, and drey who came rushing down from school after data collection. EVERYONE could sing, which made things less fun, since normally every group i go with, there's always at least 1 person who cannot sing properly, which makes things less serious and more funny! Yesterdays' gang seemed at least half-conscious of how they sounded, literally glued to their seat when singing, and nobody screaming (bar myself), no one standing up to dance, no ridiculous acts! haha. We really should've just gone wild lah!! Anyways, since when was going to karaoke about Singing properly?! It's really about having fun and doing funny things isn't it? lol. I felt it a mild outing, yet one cannot even start to find fault with the nicest company on earth. It's always gives u an innocently wondrous feeling meeting up with the music-gang.

After that we settled on $4 dollar chicken rice which ended up being worth the extra penny~~ Over dinner came the inevitable discussion of Roasted Chicken vs White chicken. Where did we ever learn that roasted chicken was basically leftover white chicken put into the roaster? It's probably knowledge (or myth) passed down from generation to generation, and although i can't quite validate it, i'm sure i'd tell my kids the same anyways hahahaha. Also, i learnt (to my detriment) that 'bai cai' and 'xiao bai cai' is not the same~

True to the beng-ethnic that is clearly in our blood, we headed off to the pool parlour to satiate our thirst to stoke (or relive) our beng (or lian) fiery roots. Was playing when Shaun asked me out of the blue :"eh how to put 'english' on the ball arh?" hahahhahahaah..sorry mate. Bengs call it 'siding' lol. Although i found it funny, i did find the time to get my ass kicked by them (RY can play pool too) so from now on maybe i need to rephrase my common usage of the word 'siding' to 'english'.

after pool back home we went and then ry and i contemplated running for bus 31. Luckily we decided against it, because we (only later) realized that 31 did NOT stop at the bus stop we were waiting at. Running would have been bad on the knees, and seriously would have been a total waste of effort! so we backtracked some 400 metres or so to the previous busstop on the other side of the road junction. That's when i looked up into night sky to appreciate a breeze coming through and saw the very prominent white moon peering down through a cloudy starless sky~~ When the moon captures your heart it holds you captive, and so i remained solemn for the entirety of the way home (sorry RY lol.)

Well, to be exact, i was pretty solemn right until the end of the trip, when i noticed the pair perched in front of us were very possibly practicing lesbianism. and so i input into my mobile "girl or boy?" to ask RY. And then she stared blankly and then replied,..."huh i dun quite get it" followed by (in a louder voice) "WHAT 'GIRL OR BOY'?" At that moment my solemnness just got smashed into a million fragments as i wondered in the silliness of the embarrassing situation i suddenly found myself in! haha. Unfortunately for me, those two were less than 50 centimetres away so i'm PRETTY sure that they picked up on my 'innocuous' question.

Reaching home, i was dead tired so i spent an hour or two online and on the telly before me and my solemn-again mood retreated to the pillow.

Now these 3 remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love.

when is it OK to take a chance?

It's our faults that make us who we are.

I notice that it's become nigh impossible to know someone well enough when all u know about a person is his good deeds. Somehow, a stronger relationship is when you know everything bad about a person, and yet you still accept him for who he is. Now that is a strong friendship isn't it?

It's pretty weird cos this should be counter-intuitive. When a person is a good-doer, it's only natural that it's easier to befriend him, since he is more likely to be of benefit to you as opposed to someone evil. So why is it that i feel so much closer to those whom i see failing everyday?

Perhaps it's because i know they trust me. As i trust my sins all my friends, those who let me in on their wrongdoings (in the hope of finding peace/advice), are those that trust me enough, and on trust does a relationship ride.

Anyhow, in a world where everyone strives for perfection and goodness, it really is our faults that makes us who we are isn't it? Firstly (1), faults are usually the first thing that people tend to spot, because doing good is the benchmark in todays' society, and doing a good deed is simply the norm, whereas making mistakes just stick out like a sore thumb. Secondly (2), we can never truly know a person, if all we know are his good deeds; as opposed to his bad. When we can look beyond that and accept the sinner for who he is, only then can we truly know a person.

*ponder ponder*

Where the mobile phone doesn't work, facebook does.

It's amazing that we don't reply text messages anymore with our usual promptness, and have transferred out resources to reply facebook messages/wall posts! Simply because with iPhone users rife, everyone can now use facebook on the go, when they cannot use their mobiles, they are probably in class, where they may be at their computers. Last week, A friend took something like an hour and a half to reply my SMS but only 10 mins to reply a facebook wall post!! that's when i realized that communicating via facebook posts is definitely the way forward lol (not a fav of mine tho).

Music in a Global context

May yet be the best class i've attended in NUS!

The new SBFSF. Grand vision. Grand opportunities.

The Save-Bryan-From-Starving-Fund (SBFSF) is now up and running. Interested philanthopists feel free to leave a comment for enquires.

.

It is indeed the people closest to you that we tend to take for granted.