school life for the swimmer

The time is now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl8mpAvTm_Y

time

When the time comes for things to end, end it. For time does not heal all wounds.

The melody of a heart, brokened.

Just like glass shatters, so does the heart.

It cracks, and then gives way, first into broken panels, and then it hits the ground, and into terrible shards they become, and then into dust the crumble, and finally, nothingness.

God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'
In that instant it started to pour,
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of the time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name...

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love...

Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save...

Till death do us part

Mors certa; hora incerta.


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a hectic day

what a hectic day! rush rush did some RC stuff for about an hour before speeding off to St margaret's Primary school to play soccer with Daniel and his church friends! And after that daniel gave me a lift to ACS barker and i played soccer once again! it's been a long time since i last met chang so it's probably a gd idea that i went. Also, priscilla foong was playing soccer?! wow i've never seen a girl play soccer that well! anyways, soccer from 3-7 is no joke for these old bones!!!

after soccer i got a lift from chang the man to Novena where i met Zouli and Andrew and other soccer guys for CNY dinner! It's always nice to meet them cos they're such a fun-loving FOC bunch hahaha can really talk cock all day..In fact, the guys i played soccer with at AC Barker all talk cock so much it's always fun to be about them! haha. OoOps. Fact of the Day: Both bunch of guys are from ACS. No wonder!!! hahaha.

Anyhows, i made my way here to pandan valley to keep this girl company, who has been studying away throughout this CNY period and hasn't seen the sun or breathed fresh air for a few days now. Poor her. Gonna have ice cream and then go home to catch the Chelsea Liverpool match later. My friend predicted 7-0. I told him liverpool weren't THAT good. 2-0 is more apt. We shall see. Suarez with a brace would mean fat-nando torres is long forgotten.

byebye chicken pox

Finally got over chicken pox which hath been plaguing me for the past 2 weeks. Thoughts for the moment.

-I want to eat nice food.

-Hurray to Japan and taiwan.

-We always please those who dun matter that much to us, and take for granted those who mean the world to us.

-I am still largely emotionless.

day 3

fever fever fever. and also gastric at night. how to make the acid coming up to your throat stop?

chicken pox day 2

i am in serious discomfort. itching everywhere.

iphone 3gs dead

don't bother with an iphone case. It wun save your iphone when it falls into the toilet bowl.

Weather

My heart rains the heaviest in january.

i know i know..

i know that u are doing it for yourself. but...what about me? i'm doing it for you too.

i just wanted to share with you

Sunday, dark has turned to grey~

qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm

when did i last have short black hair again? it must be something like an entire year or so!

the emptiness of christmas

Emo again. what's in a gift?

When gifts turn to dust, sincere words and true feelings are all that remain. Sadly though, halfway through cookie baking and card-making, i lost the drive to continue. Simply put, i just had nothing left in the tank to put into these cards/cookies/gifts. My friends know me as someone who'd put thought and heart into my gifts, hating to give out meaningless trinkets or useless dust-collecting paperweights. And so, true to current form, i doubt i've ever given out so little love over christmas ever.

Seeing no point in writing the customary card, i decided that if i didn't really want to write a card, i shan't waste my time making/writing/sending out a card which meant nothing. Sadly though, I had planned to make something like 10 cards but only a couple were made/sent out. and for the 20 pple i made cookies for only 6 packs got to friends whom i had time to see. I had planned to get 15 presents, but only gave 5. To be fair, the 10 cards i had planned were NOT customary. It's just that, after pondering across what seemed like years, i just didn't have any inspiration with words nor card-ideas that were real about how i truly felt and wished for whomever i was writing to. Better send out 3 sincere cards than write 50 customary 'merry christmases' with some christmas motif with no love or real affection.

Sorry friends..i've just been pretty down in the dumps. But really, the apologies should go to myself since more than any friend who's happy to receive a card, i am the happier one making and giving them.

having said that, i still had a busy christmas season. Christmas eve was spent at my uncles' and then went caroling with daniel, before settling at Daniel's place for afters till 11 or so, and then rushing to church for christmas mass at BSC (ry was kind enough to answer my desperate call.., and during which, bro sent some love over the airwaves). Met ruo and chriss the next afternoon(supposed to be morning) to say merry christmas, before heading to bishan for christmas lunch (was teatime by the time i arrived) with the cousins. I spend dinnertime with one melancholy C at Swissotel the stamford. We shared a beef salami and mushroom pizza and some calamari which were good. I'd say that after all these years, level 71 was still a nice place to look over the night lights of Singapore.

Now that christmas has passed by, i spent today playing soccer, when it rained halfway. Half downhearted (wasted my time getting there), half glad (since i truly had no mood), i showered and took a trip to town with soccer guys for dinner and window shopping..

and then i'll come home for a 1 hour nap, and wake up to some left-over chilli crab and fried rice from last night, before heading out to the small park outside for some reflection and music. The moon is so beautiful tonight. Without doing it justice, it was like an incandescent child trying to hide it's brilliance behind the translucent curtains of the wispy clouds.

may tomorrow come swiftly.

Why never call?

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oh wait.

For just a moment, my life looked like it was ready to start again!

Anyways, presenting....Flavors of the month.

6thDec.MarmaladePantry.

6pm Tea stops. And we arrive at 5.50pm. The rush wasn't worth it.

7thDec.NationalMuseum.MBS.

Cameron friend of friend of friend shakes my hand with conviction. We slalom toward MBS but not before i stroll through Pompeii, and Singapore's past. A lonely end to the night.

8thDec.Level40.Home.

Where else should one be on a cool night? Level 40 of course, where u could see the pretty lights of the sunny island. Except there is no sun.

9thDec.Waraku.Tangs.

Finally meeting again. It's waraku this time, and as always, we share food. A taste for her, and the rest for me. Conned to bloatedness.

10thDec.SantoukaRamen.

Can it get any more tender? Pork cheek shio ramen.

Had the cheek to sneer to myself. Where are u heading mate?

13thDec.Wine&Cheese.Home.

Wine and Cheese never goes wrong.

Bro and i we fire one up. It was good.

I saw her that night.

15thDec.Chilis.TanglinMall.

Gotta check out the value-for-money set meal she said.

We glance across the table at each other in knowing silence, as we survey the offer.

Must be telepathy through the sharpness from the folds from the corner of the pillow i think.

The look says it all, as she settles on pasta.

Me I settle on Fajitas Trio, 38.90 worth of value.

16th.Taka.

Tash finally back home and we coast about at Toast. Carrot cake was OK.

Met Thomas in person, nice bloke him.

We could talk all day about anime and football and politics..but shopping follows.

17thDec.SuntecCity.Paulaners.

Finally i meet without the stress of exams.

Daniel and i arrive late, he from work, me from shopping.

Where is Wong Shuwen? Puking out the remnants of yesternight is never TEROFIC (courtesy of zhi).

18thDec.GiantTurfCity.Home.

Dad and i we drive down to Giant at Turf city where i help myself to kiwi 42 below vodka (for Bree) and wine (for party on the 22nd). Head home and enjoy the evening with Daniel and Randy Orton. Some things fail from the beginning but never ever fails to entertain you. Daniel whips out the green fairy from his underpants and it begins. Tinkerbell works the magic that heavy snowfall doesn't.

The Aftermath.

20thDec.Relish.3InchSin.Coronation.AMKMacdonalds.SinMing.

Wei and i we stroll to hatched. She must've wanted me sliced in a gutter after the sign read, 'closed on mondays'. We stroll a long way back to cluny relish. On the way out, Wei decides that she's had enough of her crummy sandals. She kicks her sandals in disdain and they give way. Gal i always knew the 3.90 u saved would come in handy someday. A hideous pair of flip flops save the day. Not after the devilish 3 inch sin molten cake though. T'was truly great. I always remember my promises, but more than that, i remember yours.

And then the council convenes. Jiale has returned from HK bringing us wives from afar. Well not exactly. But their biscuits do just as well. Lao Po Bing(s) all around. We stop by Sin Ming after for some Ban Mian and Some beer. We laugh, we cry, and we sigh. We relive the memories of old, and chill till out eyelids fold.

~~~

But the 21st of December arrives. And they're sullen and tired but hopeful..No cards, baking or presents. just tears bleeding from a weeping heart.

Tomorrow kenny leaves. and the long layoff from baking and card-making must resume.

Day after, Lunch with C and W is prescribed.

oh ho.

and i will wait.

It's a damn cold night. Tryin to figure out this life. Won't u take me by the hand take me somewhere new. I don't know who u are but I'm..I'm with u.


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another rough night.

on the precipice of..

Application for job simply means: the end of whimsical loafing-abouts, the end of irrational musings, the end of coloured hair, the end of talking loudly, the end of living from day to day, the end of a heap of things that make me smile.

The next few days are gonna have a butterfly effect on the fabric of my life.


And as 'Reality' comes crashing down. I realize a sad truth......
i don't really want to work just yet! i realize that as i am now, i'm not yet ready to dive into being a working human. I don't want to start have a working life now. Oh craps. It seems that there is a discrepancy between what is expected of me, and what i want to do. There are still many many things hampering my clarity of thought and decision-making. Emotions, expectations, desires and dreams...those dreams...

my dreams are.......

Of Dreams, Desires, and Decision.

My dreams they have been interesting in many ways.

If i was confused, i am much worse now.

Dreams have the darnest way of being ridiculous and unbelievable, and also our most sincerest thoughts and desires.

Our desires and decisions may or may not go hand in hand, and this why we have confusing dreams.
Our dreams are our uncensored desires, bounded by the rules of our morals. Our actions in real life are our censored embodied thoughts, bounded by the rules of Society's morals.

sighs.

Rough night; Sunny day after.

After the rough night came the sunniest day for a long while.

quote of the day:

"i hope work's gonna be sufficiently challenged but also easy!" (ong, 2010)

.

deep in a dense forest, a girl sleeps.
deep in the vast waters, a boy weeps.
She sleeps alone.
He weeps alone.
How can they meet?

reality checked.

all in a day's work.

beefnoodles.simlim.uniqlo313.orchardcentral.centrepoint

tmrw=raoul.grandhyatt

i am not grumps

Pride can stand a thousand trials; the strong will never fall. But watching stars without you, my soul cried.

In love, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder.

would u share my dreams if you knew what i was dreaming?

to the tune before i sleep,
Bless the dream that will beat-

tonight, to her, whom i'll meet,
Hold me close cos i need-

you, who care, being so sweet,
Then my heart i'll let u keep-

always.

the end

is it really the end?

as one door closes another opens.

Exam-luck to make up for everything-else-luck

Developmental processes Examination is special. 5 days before the paper, 6 review essay questions were released, of which, 3 will be replicated as exam questions. For the exam, we are allowed to bring in notes to help us write a good essay. Can prepare notes, can bring in notes, surely no problem right? wrong. I accidentally left my notes at home. and i only found out whilst sitting outside the exam hall, 15 minutes before the start of the paper.


Chan, B. J. (2010) Life is funny: A series of unfortunate events that leads to serendipity. Journal of Life, 1(1), 1-2.

Abstract: At an earlier event on Saturday, I decided that i did not want to study, and i went to play soccer. While playing soccer, i rolled my ankle so badly i couldn't walk. Since i cannot walk, i cannot leave my room. Since i cannot leave my room, i had nothing to do except study. The old man up there certainly has a sense of humor, using a brilliant paradigm to force me to study. In the present experiment, I test the old man's propensity to joke around in my direst moments, albeit having my best intentions at heart. Results support the idea that He is indeed a comedian.

Introduction
Friends offered me paper to write new notes, as well as some citations that i could not remember accurately. Yet, how much can one do in 10 minutes? haha. Oh wells. I did the what i could, which was sketchy notes for The first 3 questions (I started from the first question, so Qn 1, 2 and 3). Too bad for the rest of the questions (4, 5, 6). Alas, t'was time to enter the exam hall with a prayer and some statistics.

Null Hypothesis: A question for which i have no notes for appears. Therefore, Bryan is a Moron. 95% chance.

Hypothesis 1: Qn 1, 2, and 3 come out. The reason for this, well, the old man is really something. Having pulled a fast one on me over the weekend, decides that i'm quite the fan of comedy. Chance = 0.5 x 0.4 x 0.25 = 0.05
Nice.

Procedure & Results:
Paper is flipped over, Qn 1, 2 and 3 is tested. Null hypothesis rejected.

Discussion:
The results suggest with 95% confidence that the old man up there is quite the comedian, and well, although this one wasn't that fun, i must admit that it was an awesome ride.

Acknowledgements:
Mavis for the notebook paper! Vera for lending me the review questions script!
WenLin, Vera, Sarah, Sandy, Mavis, Audrey (and whoever i missed out) for all the information you lent me during those 10 hectic minutes!

Questions that bug you at 2.30am

What makes a person love another? What makes a person feel closeness with someone else? Can this closeness be explained? Can Chemistry be explained?


What makes a person end a relationship? Can chemistry be replaced? Can love be replaced? Could both be put in place?


Are we in relationships that have futures? or are we in relationships that make us happy? What matters? What doesn't?

No it's not for you..

..just a nice song.

the defendant is found guilty.

Of broken promises and untold truths: What lies beyond the horizon is a world of guilt, not opportunity, for only the remorseless looks back without a heavy heart.

Supper is served at 1.26am...

...A full cup of serenity, with a hint of meloncholy. It's warm. And it feels good in the tummy...but anything would right now. This never-ending hunger is sickening.

It seems that what's left after venting your spleen.....what's left is: emptiness. For i am perpetually hungry.

so just Give Me That Love.

A nice chill out song to go with the mood.

strange happenings

how did i wake up without my shirt on?!

lull of a lonely prince

Angel of old,

salve my soul.

Heal mine heart

and seal this hole.

A cut too deep

that kills my sleep,

still ties my hands

and binds my feet.

For late tonight,

there is no light.

No warmth within,

yet too cold outside.

O sands of time,

forgive my whine.

And wash pristine,

this past of mine.

Go ahead and Syphon my night

and usher in the morning light.

Broken phone booth

Am i alive?

or thoughts that drift away?

Does summer come for everyone?

Can humans do what prophets say?

If i die

Before i learn to speak,

Can money pay for all the days

I lived awake but half asleep?

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i know it's hard to keep an open heart

when even friends seem out to harm you.

But if you heal can heal a broken heart,

wouldn't time be out to charm you?

Don't cry

And when you are in need of someone my heart won't deny you. So many seem so lonely with no one left to cry to


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The text that never came.

Might.

Burrowing rabbit; Emerging rabbit; In search of the white rabbit

Coming in to the light

as he doesn't want to be alone.

But the sun burns into his sight

as reality hits home.

Emerging from the ground,

oblivious to the sounds.

Mine eyes dazzled by the sun,

I left my senses in remand.

I pray for us dear friend

that somehow we'll find the key.

And as we stumble across the land,

may we the white rabbit see.

An afternoon piece of nugget with curry sauce

Alternating currents overhead,

lights flicker and nothing being said.

Smell of mac nuggets on my hand,

i feel like i need a fan.

Should have had a double quarter pounder,

what an uncanny yet pleasant encounter.

-shaun ang.

the Eggxeggerating riddler.

In a marble hall as white as milk

Lined with skin as soft as silk

Within a fountain crystal clear

A golden apple doth appear

No doors are there to this stronghold

Yet thieves break in and steal the gold

Heart of the meek.

the blinding ray Shone threw the haze

bringing to light the truth of mine gaze

listen not to words of man

but sooner follow the trail of sand

Where sheesh may safely graze

Pity about how things turned out;

but i never thought it turn this way.

You were just a friend (no more);

and i never intended for you to sway.

Your thoughts differ from mine,

and really they're out of line.

I can tell your pain;

but i can't take your blame.

Would u rather i had ignored you?

I'm sorry but i am not them.

So don't expect me to do what you are used to.

and stop being defensive like a clam.

It is true that now i don't understand how you feel;

but truer still that i never understood your thrill.

So i hope that through your self-imposed winding maze,

you'll find your way to where sheesh may safely graze.

The Morning Benders - Virgins (Exclusive new track for Blogotheque)

All my lovers around me like virgins screen today
Waist-deep in the water, pushing my body away

What makes you go, to put the past away?
Oh how many drops can you squeeze out to explain
What happened one day?

And one of them stays behind and trails me from afar
I saw her eyes, lit up like colors in the dark
But when our faces met, I was half a world away
It still shot in my breath as I turned to say

We meet another way
Where you wont recognize my face
Can we meet one way or another you wont, you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up

When we meet one day you won’t recognize my face
When we meet one way or another you wont you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up

And one day it suits me, the next it simply leaves me dry
It comes on like a lifetime, it passes into morning light
How beautiful it was to be anything at all
But somehow it strikes me, the timing came a bit off

When we meet another day you won’t recognize my face
When we meet one way or another you wont you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up
When we meet one way you won’t recognize my face
When we meet one way or another you wont you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up

A wine and a smile.

A nice low-key chill out evening.

Had a nice dinner with special-k at the vines@novena and treated myself to lobster/ribeye combo set with a nice red.

We later adjourned to Haato@ulu pandan for icecream and waffles on K's recommendation. T'was good i must say.

There's always something nice about having a nice glass of wine with someone whom you've known for ages. In the moment you tip your glass to your lips, this air of nostalgia fills the air. For that moment in the bustling restaurant, it was almost as though time grinded to a stop, as poignant moments that we shared came to the fore.

T'was not too long ago when we sat side-by-side outside KK Hospital's 7-eleven, each having ourselves a jelly-slurpee-sundae after a morning training session. It was a funny moment that i'll always look back upon with a lot of fondness. We were two 13-year olds planning to start a swim school together. Grand plans indeed. Haha. Interestingly enough, while our mutual friend has actually gone ahead and done just that, we're still sitting on that blue metal bench enjoying our ice creams and each others company, except that the blue metal bench of the past was now stylish wooden tables and chairs at Haato :) If there are times where fate cannot break the bonds formed by man, this could possibly be one.

As two 12 year-olds, we were set on paths that would see us become totally different people. In many ways, we're complete opposites. One a Blue and gold in heart, the other a green warrior. He was the ever-quiet aspirer, focused and determined. Me the loud-spoken philosopher, seeing things differently was my forte. He had everything that i lacked, drive and focus. We'll be in rival schools, and then take on different areas of study, in rival universities. He's always got everything planned, me unplanned. Our backgrounds cannot be more different, our ideals different. Somehow, one way or another, like the sun and moon, the earth couldn't get rid of us.

And as suddenly as time stopped for me, i find myself in the present again, as the bustling sounds of food being served, topics being shared, orders being taken, flood back into my consciousness. The blur of my surroundings gain focus again as i find myself sitting in a family-oriented restaurant called 'the vines'.

Lost for words i am suddenly.

...Good wine, my friend, good wine.

in a daze

天使の微笑み

A Quartet of Characters.

Ode to mane;

Recluse to light;

Yelp of beak.

-

Click of keys;

Surfing of sites;

Yielding to thoughts.

-

Sinking of posture;

Ache of spine.

-

Adhering to noise;

Beholden to notes.

just another afternoon

birds fly home, dawn to dusk, why cant time pass just as fast.

monotonous voice, lights are dim, i feel like eating ice cream.

mind starts to wander, eyes are heavy, now i feel like mash potato with gravy.

playing of gongs, arms start to ache, an afternoon slice of cheesecake.

Shaun Ang, 5th October 2010.

It's a certainty.

A life is time;
they teach you growing up.
But the seconds ticking killed us all
a million years before the fall.

The key ingredient

I think that i have discovered the key ingredient that keeps friends together~~

Reliance.

Expectations

in construction.managing expectations.

stardust.

You light the skies up above me.

A star, so bright you blind me.

Don't close your eyes.

Don't fade away.

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star,

If you stay with me girl, we can rule the world.

Yeah you and me we can light up the sky,

If you stay by my side, we can rule the world.

If walls break down, I will comfort you.

If angels cry, I'll be there for you.

You've saved my soul.

Don't leave me now.

My red sky

If you'd float into my red sky,

I would love to make you smile.

hair of red

hair of red

nothing being said

he walked past the gate

while she wait

she wonders, "why is he late"

guess its just my fate

but it has already been made

lets just go on a date

-Shaun Ang 28th Sept 2010

Peripheral Alertness.

The sounds of button crunching as the person perched behind me checks his mobile. The blinking of the girl beside me blinking with her mascaraed lashes. The twitching leaned head of the bloke beside me cross-armed. Two chairs left she chuffs her handouts on the table to align them. The girl in front sits hand on lap listening intently. Beside her another girl scribbles incessantly..

It seems i've zoned out totally at approximately an hour and a half into class.

If one concentrates on the sounds around them, it's really hard to attain silence isn't it? Perhaps silence is actually a state of mind. *ponder.ponder*

War and peace.

We Laugh

We cry

We fight

They die

-

They talk

They lie

They cheat

We die

-

It's a farce.

We'll all die.

-

So Here,

have some of mine.

And i'll take your wine.

And then we'll show them,

that we men,

we'll walk hand-in-hand.

-

“I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.” -Ghandi

My world on 26th of September 2010

A change of perspectives

A change in flair.

A change of views

A change of hair.

He turns on the news

and for the moment he weeps.

For all the hatred

and blood in heaps.

Now why can't we all get along?

in Jeruselem, in Siam, or in japan~

What're all our children among?

How far can this violence span?

They tell us this:

The greatest thing as they live,

Is to love and be loved in return.

But they should just learn to love.

and not the rewards that love should give.

I've learnt alot

but all i have not.

i save it for my brother,

and one day we'll save each other.

She learns something new,

something she never knew;

But she gives up

cos it's too much for her to chew.

But i am wrong.

He is wrong.

They are wrong.

She is wrong.

We're all wrong; And that makes us alright.

a very white and pristine moon.

Teo Heng is the type of name the usually precedes some sorta food...for example you could have Teo Heng Porridge or perhaps Teo Heng Tao Sah Piah...but karaoke?! Certainly sounds as beng as it gets! Moreover, when i called over to Katong shopping centre to make a reservation, the attendant greeted with a "wei?" That certainly set the alarms off.

Anyhow, the place was quite nice in actuality. The scene i envisaged prior to arrival was a shoddy broken-down small room with not-so-good equipment but a pretty good song selection (what ah bengs lack in style they make up with good song knowledge). To my surprise, it was well-lit, and acceptably spacious (but ours was a 'medium' room, so i fear for the small rooms), with OK sound systems~ The best part really is that it's kinda no-frills so they don't include drinks in the package and so the room we got was like $20 for 3 hours, and $10/subsequent hr?! madly cheap IMO~ If you want canned drinks they cost something like a dollar each which is pretty affordable too! I'd totally recommend it in spite of its dodgy name that only bengs/lians would know it haha! I would pick it over Kbox anytime!

Company was good as usual with the music-gang! Special mention goes out to CSY who was sick yet still made it down, and drey who came rushing down from school after data collection. EVERYONE could sing, which made things less fun, since normally every group i go with, there's always at least 1 person who cannot sing properly, which makes things less serious and more funny! Yesterdays' gang seemed at least half-conscious of how they sounded, literally glued to their seat when singing, and nobody screaming (bar myself), no one standing up to dance, no ridiculous acts! haha. We really should've just gone wild lah!! Anyways, since when was going to karaoke about Singing properly?! It's really about having fun and doing funny things isn't it? lol. I felt it a mild outing, yet one cannot even start to find fault with the nicest company on earth. It's always gives u an innocently wondrous feeling meeting up with the music-gang.

After that we settled on $4 dollar chicken rice which ended up being worth the extra penny~~ Over dinner came the inevitable discussion of Roasted Chicken vs White chicken. Where did we ever learn that roasted chicken was basically leftover white chicken put into the roaster? It's probably knowledge (or myth) passed down from generation to generation, and although i can't quite validate it, i'm sure i'd tell my kids the same anyways hahahaha. Also, i learnt (to my detriment) that 'bai cai' and 'xiao bai cai' is not the same~

True to the beng-ethnic that is clearly in our blood, we headed off to the pool parlour to satiate our thirst to stoke (or relive) our beng (or lian) fiery roots. Was playing when Shaun asked me out of the blue :"eh how to put 'english' on the ball arh?" hahahhahahaah..sorry mate. Bengs call it 'siding' lol. Although i found it funny, i did find the time to get my ass kicked by them (RY can play pool too) so from now on maybe i need to rephrase my common usage of the word 'siding' to 'english'.

after pool back home we went and then ry and i contemplated running for bus 31. Luckily we decided against it, because we (only later) realized that 31 did NOT stop at the bus stop we were waiting at. Running would have been bad on the knees, and seriously would have been a total waste of effort! so we backtracked some 400 metres or so to the previous busstop on the other side of the road junction. That's when i looked up into night sky to appreciate a breeze coming through and saw the very prominent white moon peering down through a cloudy starless sky~~ When the moon captures your heart it holds you captive, and so i remained solemn for the entirety of the way home (sorry RY lol.)

Well, to be exact, i was pretty solemn right until the end of the trip, when i noticed the pair perched in front of us were very possibly practicing lesbianism. and so i input into my mobile "girl or boy?" to ask RY. And then she stared blankly and then replied,..."huh i dun quite get it" followed by (in a louder voice) "WHAT 'GIRL OR BOY'?" At that moment my solemnness just got smashed into a million fragments as i wondered in the silliness of the embarrassing situation i suddenly found myself in! haha. Unfortunately for me, those two were less than 50 centimetres away so i'm PRETTY sure that they picked up on my 'innocuous' question.

Reaching home, i was dead tired so i spent an hour or two online and on the telly before me and my solemn-again mood retreated to the pillow.

Now these 3 remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love.

when is it OK to take a chance?

It's our faults that make us who we are.

I notice that it's become nigh impossible to know someone well enough when all u know about a person is his good deeds. Somehow, a stronger relationship is when you know everything bad about a person, and yet you still accept him for who he is. Now that is a strong friendship isn't it?

It's pretty weird cos this should be counter-intuitive. When a person is a good-doer, it's only natural that it's easier to befriend him, since he is more likely to be of benefit to you as opposed to someone evil. So why is it that i feel so much closer to those whom i see failing everyday?

Perhaps it's because i know they trust me. As i trust my sins all my friends, those who let me in on their wrongdoings (in the hope of finding peace/advice), are those that trust me enough, and on trust does a relationship ride.

Anyhow, in a world where everyone strives for perfection and goodness, it really is our faults that makes us who we are isn't it? Firstly (1), faults are usually the first thing that people tend to spot, because doing good is the benchmark in todays' society, and doing a good deed is simply the norm, whereas making mistakes just stick out like a sore thumb. Secondly (2), we can never truly know a person, if all we know are his good deeds; as opposed to his bad. When we can look beyond that and accept the sinner for who he is, only then can we truly know a person.

*ponder ponder*

Where the mobile phone doesn't work, facebook does.

It's amazing that we don't reply text messages anymore with our usual promptness, and have transferred out resources to reply facebook messages/wall posts! Simply because with iPhone users rife, everyone can now use facebook on the go, when they cannot use their mobiles, they are probably in class, where they may be at their computers. Last week, A friend took something like an hour and a half to reply my SMS but only 10 mins to reply a facebook wall post!! that's when i realized that communicating via facebook posts is definitely the way forward lol (not a fav of mine tho).

Music in a Global context

May yet be the best class i've attended in NUS!

The new SBFSF. Grand vision. Grand opportunities.

The Save-Bryan-From-Starving-Fund (SBFSF) is now up and running. Interested philanthopists feel free to leave a comment for enquires.

.

It is indeed the people closest to you that we tend to take for granted.

28th of july.

I look forward to tomorrow with less than resignation. As time starts to move again, my blurry eyes find release...and my tears splatter against the grey hard floor. In the midst of silence, the sound of saltwater against tile is a catalyst for the flood.

The forecast is rainy for the days ahead.

As one habit kicks in, another dies out. Tomorrow bro, i save my last for you.

Still.

Just like the air tonight, my life is still. It seems as though time stands still. I tell myself to move on, yet the only thing moving is time, and you. And so I mull here, and embrace my newfound nothingness, but still my heart bleeds.

-Still-

Different scenery, same emotion.
All grand plans, now no action.
Sad I was, came back looking for thrill.
But sad I was, now even sadder still.

Halfway across the world
You still carry my heart
On my lonesome bed I curl
Why can't this idiot start?
because you chose to part.

My life a lake with waters still,
A ton of potential this time to kill.
But now I lay here head in hands,
Gone are all the enthusiastic plans,
Now just waiting for a chance to make amends.

Do I really hold you back? Damn it if I did why are u even away from me now?
A month ago u spoke of us surviving exchange. And yet 2 weeks from there u lose your feelings. Is that even true? Why am I so confused?

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Chronicles of HV: The lion, the savior, and the toilet

As we left holland v hawker centre, i realize that the my stomach seemed to be reacting to the laksa and nasi lemak combo that was dinner (something i wouldn't recommend). It wasn't the type that brought me to my knees, so i deliberated and decided i didn't have to brave the cubicles, just the urinals, for a piss.

As i was relieving myself, i decided to indulge a bit and let out a slow fart, but to my dismay, it was a bit of a wet one! I rushed to the free cubicle behind me, and pulled my shorts down to the familiar place around my heels, and dropped those nukes that had been weighing me down. As the carnage ploughed through the walls of jericho, i spotted through the corner of my eye the transparent toilet roll holder, and it's lack of cargo. Sighing, i made a distress call to Kenny, who was waiting outside, to come and save me with a pack of tissue! 5 seconds after i put down the phone, a brother in arms called out to me.

"Hello..hello!"...it was a dude from a neighboring cubicle! I noticed a hand holding some rumples of toilet paper! "Here's some! do u need more?" I hurriedly replied "no thanks! and THANKS THANKS THANKS!" I tried to call kenny to tell him that i didn't need saving as things were but was too late, as i heard him calling out to me for cubicle position and a pack of tissue came flying over the door.

Before my neighbour left his glory seat, his hand crept under the partition yet again with more paper. "Better take some more just in case"

Hey who ever said that Singaporeans took no initiative and were not outwardly helpful? :P

Bubble tea, Scotch, and Tears

Thank you all of you who had me in their thoughts~

On a lonely evening in a speeding plane.

-Solemn and Scary Plane Flights-

My Love,

A month ago today i boarded with hope in flutters.

Now i board again with my heart in tatters.

Emptiness that cannot be seen,

with nothing more to give that you will let me.

I in honesty had much fun;

Baking in the Catalunyan sun;

Running for the train in Bordeaux;

and then missing you at Monterosso;

Your favorite Milanese gelateria;

All the unsat gondolas in Venezia.

Like this, i wish time could reverse;

and wipe away all them tears,

but alas it was, in life, my best five years.

I hope tomorrow's beginnings are great;

but sadly i know it needn't be said,

that my best years and memories are now but a shadow;

deep within my infinite soul, there safely stowed.

Go find what you are looking for, my love,

and when you find your purpose to serve,

seek me out once again for there i always will be,

living my placid life in memory.

And now quaking in my tiny seat,

and as takeoff nears i hear my crazy heartbeat.

With no one about me to hold on to,

i reach out my hand rightwards and true,

but pullback on realizing it is not you.

Just like you whisper in my ear:

"sleep now dearie, and soothe your fears.

Before you know it we'll be in the air."

i sit solemnly and hope to see you there.

and feel your hands caress my face,

tracing lines with such grace.

and reunite my incomplete heart

with the fragments that i gave you while you slept,

Drying all our tears that we've wept.

i do and will miss you so,

ci vediamo.

On a dark evening in a speeding train.

-Lonely train rides-

Roles are reversed; Tears are rehearsed

Traipsing alone in the dark,

My existence continues but life is not in verse.

Why this loneliness in my shriveled heart?

Like an anchor in water immersed,

sinking deeper spiraling into despair..

my body and soul incessantly bleed,

unfulfilled by it's only need.

..My dear are we not a pair?

My call won't you heed?

And so....it begins. In search of love.

After a hectic day of first finding out that my flight was a day earlier than what i initially thought (i thought it 1155 when it was actually 0055), i was soon on my way. 3 flights, 2 stops, 1 final destination, many miles. Different people, different languages.

Among the alien languages to me, i understand but one; the language of love.

The irony isn't lost on me. I traverse far and long in search of love. And this journey across seas shows it's love to me. Lovingly perched beside a dubai-bound family with a crying kid in its ranks causing me short-term insomnia. They compensate by teaching me love for a child, and an impatient one at that, constantly reaching for her 'shrek' toy. Love in it's purest form of affectionn, care and hope for well-being. Families of various colour speak seperate tongues, and all convey love. The irony is that it is the very love that i craved, that i shall not yet find. But i will continue to search.

Bliss.

Sitting underneath a giant green umbrella by starbucks, enjoying some iced signature chocolate, having a chat with bro...

Blissful sounds, light music, everyday scenes of people chatting, cars in the distance crawling to where they need to go. Streaks of lightning forks and tears the ashen blue canvas which is the evening sky. Voices are fast paced and slow paced, soft and louder; a crescendo of sounds, and yet from within I find peace. My heart is amazingly calm.

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Iron Man 2 and Copeland

*5th May*

Woke up to a shrill buzz from W to be there or be square at cine at 3pm SHARP, or i shall face the wrath of Cass...unfortunately upon reaching at 2.59pm sharp, i realized that i was first to reach! haha so i waltz about inside cine and found my way to fred perry on level 4 for viewing pleasure. 3.05 W reached and i promptly let her know that if we were in the amazing race, cass would've been eliminated :P

anyhow's we went to by tickets and to our abject horror, the vacant seats at cine's 3.40 show were crappy and so we booked the 3.50pm tickets for Iron man 2 @ the cathay. So, walked towards the bus stop 18 dollars poorer and rushed to Cathay for our movie, and also grabbing a Large whipped potato on the way.

Iron man 2 didn't really live up to my expectations cos it was really too choppy and offered little excitement IMO. It was the usual guy exuding attitude and stuff but the action really dropped a notch in comparison the the first film. O wells it's the sequels curse i suppose. Thereafter, headed to manhattan fish market@PS for dinner. Had myself the cheery snapper fish and chips which were pretty good~ i'd say for the price, better than fish & co.

Rush rush rush to *Scape Warehouse (behind Cine) to catch Copeland's Final tour! The show was only ok IMO because i liked their slower quieter tunes. In this concert however, they revved it a bit too much and i didn't like the distortion on those songs (brightest was normal)...Here's a short vid.

10pm meant the end of the concert. Feeling the effects of standing and hollering for an hour and a half, we decided on TGiF at Heeren for drinks and seats. Had the customary G&T and we sat and talked about C's new beau and the key actions required to secure the deal...

1130pm and it's time to catch the last train/bus home!~

*6th May*

Woke up again to SMSes to remind me of my lateness! Greg this time, with a nice reminder of KTV i said i'll go for! That meant rush rush rush again outta the house to Chinatown Party World KTV! Yay it's been ages since i last went karaoke-ing with peeps! Anyways, it was awesome as always, my favourite being those ballads by andy lau, jay chou, liang jingru etc etc.

English songs at KTV just seem to lack that ooomph. Somehow at KTV, Chinese songs are just more emo, and i like them better. It was nice to meet up with the FRU bunch to sing, laugh and talk about the transpirings! and i met Gary the new temp clerk (who belts out an amazing bing yu by andy lau). oooh..and Greg gets a special mention here for doing Lady GaGa's Bad romance (10/10 performance there).

720pm, got myself home in one piece, and settled down over mum's super nice moichoi+stewed pork. There was also this err....how should i put this....failed attempt at a korean tofu soup HAHA,..but t'was edible nonetheless!

Chatted with Jeanne over on Skype till we fell asleep..........zzz..........

*7th May*

1108am, i'm off for an emergency Dental appt.!

In the game of love, results are not important. Just enjoy the game.

Finally got over my fever and flu! Met Daniel today at some absurb hour @ 11am at City Hall to hunt for this Fancy Delight Egg Tarts! Unfortunately, the shop has sadly closed down! and so with dropped heads we headed to raffles place to meet Mark for Lunch during his lunch break!

Lunch was a nice Unagi Don for me, since that's about all i can handle at the moment with the blocks between my upper and lower molars! not to mention my aching front teeth! Mark was nice enough to foot the bill for Daniel and i, and i must say i'm full of gratitude!

After lunch the 3 of us sat at china square for some ginger tea and lemon tea! talked about office stuff, and life after school! At around 1 plus Mark had to go back to work, and Dan and i stayed seated till 2 or so before me got off our lazy asses for a long trek down to tanjong pagar in hope of finding the famed egg tart stall!

On the way to raffles place MRT, we spotted the Great Eastern Building which led me to think that Sw may be free to meet! and so i rang her and she promised to be down in 5! And so i put off my egg tarts yet again for the rendezvouz@Hans (TastyTown) at Great Eastern Life Building! It was kinda sad that only 3/4 of the Fantastik-4 were onsite at Hans and this was because Sw (a.k.a fantastik woman) had forgotten all about mobilizing Zhi (a.k.a. invisible man) even though he was in the vicinity! That said, the 3 of us had the morbid-est of chats about dying and life after the (touchwood) passing of our loved ones or parents~ :/ i've long hated topics like this but it's about high time i faced my fears and started thinking about what could be, what eventually will be, and what should happen.....

4pm came before we knew it, and so it was time to make a move before we got SW sacked ho ho ho! so off we went to tanjong pagar for them egg tarts (about time)! upon arrival at tanjong pagar, we quickly checked out bearings before making progress to TP Plaza which should be about a 5-minute walk according to my super senses. Oh wait. We in fact took something like 25 minutes to reach, and in the hot sweltering weather i must say! I witnessed daniel, who was clad in full working attire, summon the most intrepid explorer from within-! haha....In my defence, a good part of the 25 mins was spent talking to a street-worker who was trying her bestest to promote the Singapore Cancer Society, as well as fund-raise! It was awesome knowing that people still do this kinda thing! Sad thing was though, that so many people whom the few of them approached tended to ignore their very existence and walk right by! The nerve of Singaporeans! After buying 9 lovely egg tarts (which were top class i must say!), we had one *torchlight on* final destination: Novena Post Office MuwahahaHaHAahHAhAHAh *torchlight off*

Crazily enough, we managed to get to novena at 510! Fortunately, the 530pm closing hours meant we were on time, and with time to spare too~ Unfortunately, for some reason, the parcel to be collected had not yet arrived at the post office! sadly, all that hustle and bustle was for naught. O wells, getting there and talking nonsense was fun whilst it lasted :D

Alas, all good days come to end; but from there the night is born. 6pm reached home, 7pm K calls me out for dinner, and 730 he arrives at toapayoh MRT. We decide on KFC for my sake; Large whipped potato shall suit my palate. Thereafter, more nonsense taking is the order of the night, as we take our discussion on love and life and relationships onto the pool table. Winner takes all!

K wins 4-1, and with that the chances of love/relationship is not 60% (as i earlier proposed). For his sake however, i hope he's wrong on this one! O wells, he's had a rough time, so i understand his pessimism, and i also understand my optimism, since i am clearly hoping for the best! So i shall settle on 50-50! comeon SpecialK heads or tails?

After today's discussion, Ks view has got me thinking...that in a game of love, the result is not of utmost importance (decided by fate). Just do your best and enjoy the game (experience).

better late than never

bah! blog upheaval in progress now (it's been a long time coming). and some music as always to soothe the soul! And don't forget to feed my fish! bwahaha love that.

spent 2 hours playing pool with my bro, before coming home to an awesome beef steak courtesy of Mum~ After that i spent some lovely time on skype with Jeanne who's in Brussels now. Playing with some elements of my blog now in trying to spruce things up here! Meeting Daniel for lunch tomorrow and i sure hope i can get up! And wednesday is Copeland and Iron Man 2! At least i've got a good week ahead.

I'm mad hungry now i wish i could bite more with the new installments on my teeth. darn.

o wells, i can hopefully lose weight :P Shower and sleep here i come.

Quiet day, a good day

Woke up late at 2pm, and spent the afternoon/evening in the cosiness of my room. Alternating between tv, Internet, music and guitar, alone-time was therapeutic. Dinner with bro mum dad was awesome with fish pork greenbeans supersoup! Nothing like a rewarding meal!

Going for a relaxing stroll downstairs now alone, on the hunt for a plastic file from popular bookstore.. Whee!

I need more days like this.


.Motif at lobby of my block.

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so fine.

22nd march.

awesome night with kenny and jiale down by commonealth!

The lil' chirpy one who joined us with little care and an unblenching heart sure made me forget about all the evils in the world. Although she had us on our toes to hide our cigarettes and foul language, she was certainly the most welcome audience. The irony was that while she started as our audience (i was playing guitar), she began chatting and even singing as though WE were her audience and she was putting up a show! The rays of innocence pierces even the most negative of grey clouds it seems. aNiways, after a good bout of songs, laughs, and chicken wings, t'was time to retire to home and prepare for today's presentation.

Sitting on my seat of glory and enlightenment (also called the toilet in most countries), a knock came from my bro, and the surprises continue. Relieved, out i stepped and there was my bro bringing gifts of sound and love. Bro went by SweeLee and got us new guitar strings for the guitars (one of which strings had popped). So it was time to give some loving and care back to the world as i removed the popped strings, gave the guitar a nice nice wipe and in return, she gave me a nice shiny glean and a wink and a smile. Bro threw in a capo for good measure and i've been waiting ages for one cos the D.I.Y ones just didn't cut it...and so i played for awhile before logging online to check them slides for today's presentation, as well as upload some old/new photos stashed in my iphone.

Hmm..met frens for lunch and dinner, swam in between, and new guitar strings at night...an eventful day to say the least. So as i turned in, i keep them happy moments in my head, and pray silently that the next time i awaken till i sleep again, i could make the same prayer and with same hopes.

23rd march.

Started the morning early, catching jeanne on skype before i left in a hurry for my presentation/quiz! Class is now over and i think we improved on our first presentation! yay to that! Gonna meet up with Jason Shauna and Nigel in abit for lunch by science faculty! till later, *PoOf* :D

It's been awhile huh..

U just gotta love this place, if u like pain that is..hurhur..
200 warm up
200 freestyle
8 x 50 kicking
4 x 100 freestyle
Warm down

Omg. Only 1k *laughs*...
I should probably do this more often so that Jeanne may recognize me in July! Ho Ho Ho..anyways, to commonwealth for dinner and then home to prepare for tmrws presentation!

Today's a good day, had a meeting den botak jones for lunch with ggjl. Bunked in his room with his bed n guitar..so t'was a soulful afternoon :):):):)

Meeting kk now for some major suaning about lvpl and our awesome season. Bleah.

The good stuff

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Experience that a year 4 student has

Hey I've never noticed the words before!!! Time spent doesn't necessarily lead to knowing more.. Now I just need to convince myself that so that I can sit for tmrw's test with a normal level of confidence.


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Class

6-9pm classes require students to have a ready cuppa coffee on hand.



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Bane of the psychology student

Today I analyzed my analysis.




Today I analyzed my analysis. And here's a yummy pic.


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Hidden meanings.

How true!


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#1 box office at toa Payoh video shop

Awesome stuff. John Morrison the "shaman of sexy" in action! Many uncles gathered around trying to look disinterested and bored, but in reality loving every bit of the action.

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Testing this cool app

3rd day of cny! Did a little visiting and back at home for dinner! Awesome spread as always!! Too bad I ate so much at waraku at lunch! Bleah!


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Internet connection fails

Running out of luck during CNY

Brittany Murphy

One of my favourite actress passed on yesterday..Brittany Murphy was to me one of the most outstanding actresses from my modest range of movies seen thus far. She was a genius at acting, ever the quirky one, but her acting touches close to the heart, and brings out the most human of qualities from her acting, raw emotion...be it happiness, from her laughter, to sadness in her crying, and determination.

An amazing actress she is. And today the world weeps solemnly with me.

which also leads me to think rather morbidly and amazingly about the purpose of life, and how inspiration spreads and feeds. I'm suddenly not so sullen about death, as it wakes us up, and opens our eyes to all the things that we have yet to do...planned and unplanned...what is life was merely a chartered course? If it's all been planned ahead of us, should we or shouldn't we then plan ahead? won't it just pan out all the same? musings musings, and questions to which the answers don't exist in any conceivable human state~ ah wells, so yet again, i'm curled up in a corner, with the only viable option being to embrace yet again "live well, live fully". Happiness merely brings awareness to sadness. Sadness only magnifies Happiness.

for that matter...

Emotions emotions emotions. Are they even needed? i will save that for another day of reflection...for now, shooto beckons!

ION 3 times in 3 days

as the title suggests, i spent lots of time in ION shopping centre, and had lotsa food there, and purchased awesome socks~ sadly just now most of the donuts were sold out at dunkindonuts,..and guys, bread society is just awesome when u eat the bread fresh..awesome stuff.

it's amazing that ivp ended just a week ago and i've put on so much weight since then!~

macdonalds new stamp collection monopoly game is totally killing me! i bought 4 extra value meals upsized today and still haven't won anything! i've got more than 100 tabs to date and still have not won any prizes! darn it! hur hur..

All u happy people, stay chirpy, all u sad people, cheer up! and then the world will be all happy, and chirpy, and noisy, and then i will tell the world to calm down, and stop making so much noise...and then i will repeat the cycle all over again.

i guess, it's better to tell the sad people, hey embraced the feeling y'all, and then remember that shit happens, so that u can fully appreciate the good times when they do come around

also,
France' july 2010 hope u'll materialize this time! tsk!

“If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck”

For too long have i been majoring in psychology, to the point where i am awfully skeptical about everything. In a field where nothing can be confirmed and the closest one gets is 'rejecting H-0", it think it's fair to say that i've since lost touch with normal everyday expectations of society.

Why do we think like this? >>>> "even though almost every points to something, it could be that.....so we cannot confirm blablablablah..."

“If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck."
Scientist would never accept that. But in not accepting this statement, how silly are we being?
If we continue our search for perfection in an imperfect world, and are unwilling to settle for less, then perhaps we were doomed before we started~~~

Yet, if we act on anything less than perfection, or in many cases, confirmation, then we leave ourselves open to accountability issues when things go bad...but how inefficient are we being in seeking efficiency?

anw, 27.9s for 50 free = fail.

friday.saturday.sunday

friday i swam something like a 30s! progress made.

gonna go for a dip again laterrr!

6th.

swam 1km in the morning. later see how!

4th October

Today really fail..planned to swim at 2pm..but inclement weather meant i had a couterproductive afternoon at munchie monkey's with a new companion called strawberry milkshake!

hope to get some swimming done tmrw!

Whalao. went training today. Final 50 free, rested and swam 33s. i think i've got a long way to go yet..

Putting together my strongest resolve, i've decided to use this blog to spur me on. I need to be able to swim 25s for 50 free in 4 weeks..and a 57s for 100free~

too tired to think of anything else now~
*PoOf*