Expectations

in construction.managing expectations.

stardust.

You light the skies up above me.

A star, so bright you blind me.

Don't close your eyes.

Don't fade away.

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star,

If you stay with me girl, we can rule the world.

Yeah you and me we can light up the sky,

If you stay by my side, we can rule the world.

If walls break down, I will comfort you.

If angels cry, I'll be there for you.

You've saved my soul.

Don't leave me now.

My red sky

If you'd float into my red sky,

I would love to make you smile.

hair of red

hair of red

nothing being said

he walked past the gate

while she wait

she wonders, "why is he late"

guess its just my fate

but it has already been made

lets just go on a date

-Shaun Ang 28th Sept 2010

Peripheral Alertness.

The sounds of button crunching as the person perched behind me checks his mobile. The blinking of the girl beside me blinking with her mascaraed lashes. The twitching leaned head of the bloke beside me cross-armed. Two chairs left she chuffs her handouts on the table to align them. The girl in front sits hand on lap listening intently. Beside her another girl scribbles incessantly..

It seems i've zoned out totally at approximately an hour and a half into class.

If one concentrates on the sounds around them, it's really hard to attain silence isn't it? Perhaps silence is actually a state of mind. *ponder.ponder*

War and peace.

We Laugh

We cry

We fight

They die

-

They talk

They lie

They cheat

We die

-

It's a farce.

We'll all die.

-

So Here,

have some of mine.

And i'll take your wine.

And then we'll show them,

that we men,

we'll walk hand-in-hand.

-

“I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.” -Ghandi

My world on 26th of September 2010

A change of perspectives

A change in flair.

A change of views

A change of hair.

He turns on the news

and for the moment he weeps.

For all the hatred

and blood in heaps.

Now why can't we all get along?

in Jeruselem, in Siam, or in japan~

What're all our children among?

How far can this violence span?

They tell us this:

The greatest thing as they live,

Is to love and be loved in return.

But they should just learn to love.

and not the rewards that love should give.

I've learnt alot

but all i have not.

i save it for my brother,

and one day we'll save each other.

She learns something new,

something she never knew;

But she gives up

cos it's too much for her to chew.

But i am wrong.

He is wrong.

They are wrong.

She is wrong.

We're all wrong; And that makes us alright.

a very white and pristine moon.

Teo Heng is the type of name the usually precedes some sorta food...for example you could have Teo Heng Porridge or perhaps Teo Heng Tao Sah Piah...but karaoke?! Certainly sounds as beng as it gets! Moreover, when i called over to Katong shopping centre to make a reservation, the attendant greeted with a "wei?" That certainly set the alarms off.

Anyhow, the place was quite nice in actuality. The scene i envisaged prior to arrival was a shoddy broken-down small room with not-so-good equipment but a pretty good song selection (what ah bengs lack in style they make up with good song knowledge). To my surprise, it was well-lit, and acceptably spacious (but ours was a 'medium' room, so i fear for the small rooms), with OK sound systems~ The best part really is that it's kinda no-frills so they don't include drinks in the package and so the room we got was like $20 for 3 hours, and $10/subsequent hr?! madly cheap IMO~ If you want canned drinks they cost something like a dollar each which is pretty affordable too! I'd totally recommend it in spite of its dodgy name that only bengs/lians would know it haha! I would pick it over Kbox anytime!

Company was good as usual with the music-gang! Special mention goes out to CSY who was sick yet still made it down, and drey who came rushing down from school after data collection. EVERYONE could sing, which made things less fun, since normally every group i go with, there's always at least 1 person who cannot sing properly, which makes things less serious and more funny! Yesterdays' gang seemed at least half-conscious of how they sounded, literally glued to their seat when singing, and nobody screaming (bar myself), no one standing up to dance, no ridiculous acts! haha. We really should've just gone wild lah!! Anyways, since when was going to karaoke about Singing properly?! It's really about having fun and doing funny things isn't it? lol. I felt it a mild outing, yet one cannot even start to find fault with the nicest company on earth. It's always gives u an innocently wondrous feeling meeting up with the music-gang.

After that we settled on $4 dollar chicken rice which ended up being worth the extra penny~~ Over dinner came the inevitable discussion of Roasted Chicken vs White chicken. Where did we ever learn that roasted chicken was basically leftover white chicken put into the roaster? It's probably knowledge (or myth) passed down from generation to generation, and although i can't quite validate it, i'm sure i'd tell my kids the same anyways hahahaha. Also, i learnt (to my detriment) that 'bai cai' and 'xiao bai cai' is not the same~

True to the beng-ethnic that is clearly in our blood, we headed off to the pool parlour to satiate our thirst to stoke (or relive) our beng (or lian) fiery roots. Was playing when Shaun asked me out of the blue :"eh how to put 'english' on the ball arh?" hahahhahahaah..sorry mate. Bengs call it 'siding' lol. Although i found it funny, i did find the time to get my ass kicked by them (RY can play pool too) so from now on maybe i need to rephrase my common usage of the word 'siding' to 'english'.

after pool back home we went and then ry and i contemplated running for bus 31. Luckily we decided against it, because we (only later) realized that 31 did NOT stop at the bus stop we were waiting at. Running would have been bad on the knees, and seriously would have been a total waste of effort! so we backtracked some 400 metres or so to the previous busstop on the other side of the road junction. That's when i looked up into night sky to appreciate a breeze coming through and saw the very prominent white moon peering down through a cloudy starless sky~~ When the moon captures your heart it holds you captive, and so i remained solemn for the entirety of the way home (sorry RY lol.)

Well, to be exact, i was pretty solemn right until the end of the trip, when i noticed the pair perched in front of us were very possibly practicing lesbianism. and so i input into my mobile "girl or boy?" to ask RY. And then she stared blankly and then replied,..."huh i dun quite get it" followed by (in a louder voice) "WHAT 'GIRL OR BOY'?" At that moment my solemnness just got smashed into a million fragments as i wondered in the silliness of the embarrassing situation i suddenly found myself in! haha. Unfortunately for me, those two were less than 50 centimetres away so i'm PRETTY sure that they picked up on my 'innocuous' question.

Reaching home, i was dead tired so i spent an hour or two online and on the telly before me and my solemn-again mood retreated to the pillow.

Now these 3 remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love.

when is it OK to take a chance?

It's our faults that make us who we are.

I notice that it's become nigh impossible to know someone well enough when all u know about a person is his good deeds. Somehow, a stronger relationship is when you know everything bad about a person, and yet you still accept him for who he is. Now that is a strong friendship isn't it?

It's pretty weird cos this should be counter-intuitive. When a person is a good-doer, it's only natural that it's easier to befriend him, since he is more likely to be of benefit to you as opposed to someone evil. So why is it that i feel so much closer to those whom i see failing everyday?

Perhaps it's because i know they trust me. As i trust my sins all my friends, those who let me in on their wrongdoings (in the hope of finding peace/advice), are those that trust me enough, and on trust does a relationship ride.

Anyhow, in a world where everyone strives for perfection and goodness, it really is our faults that makes us who we are isn't it? Firstly (1), faults are usually the first thing that people tend to spot, because doing good is the benchmark in todays' society, and doing a good deed is simply the norm, whereas making mistakes just stick out like a sore thumb. Secondly (2), we can never truly know a person, if all we know are his good deeds; as opposed to his bad. When we can look beyond that and accept the sinner for who he is, only then can we truly know a person.

*ponder ponder*

Where the mobile phone doesn't work, facebook does.

It's amazing that we don't reply text messages anymore with our usual promptness, and have transferred out resources to reply facebook messages/wall posts! Simply because with iPhone users rife, everyone can now use facebook on the go, when they cannot use their mobiles, they are probably in class, where they may be at their computers. Last week, A friend took something like an hour and a half to reply my SMS but only 10 mins to reply a facebook wall post!! that's when i realized that communicating via facebook posts is definitely the way forward lol (not a fav of mine tho).

Music in a Global context

May yet be the best class i've attended in NUS!

The new SBFSF. Grand vision. Grand opportunities.

The Save-Bryan-From-Starving-Fund (SBFSF) is now up and running. Interested philanthopists feel free to leave a comment for enquires.

.

It is indeed the people closest to you that we tend to take for granted.

28th of july.

I look forward to tomorrow with less than resignation. As time starts to move again, my blurry eyes find release...and my tears splatter against the grey hard floor. In the midst of silence, the sound of saltwater against tile is a catalyst for the flood.

The forecast is rainy for the days ahead.

As one habit kicks in, another dies out. Tomorrow bro, i save my last for you.

Still.

Just like the air tonight, my life is still. It seems as though time stands still. I tell myself to move on, yet the only thing moving is time, and you. And so I mull here, and embrace my newfound nothingness, but still my heart bleeds.

-Still-

Different scenery, same emotion.
All grand plans, now no action.
Sad I was, came back looking for thrill.
But sad I was, now even sadder still.

Halfway across the world
You still carry my heart
On my lonesome bed I curl
Why can't this idiot start?
because you chose to part.

My life a lake with waters still,
A ton of potential this time to kill.
But now I lay here head in hands,
Gone are all the enthusiastic plans,
Now just waiting for a chance to make amends.

Do I really hold you back? Damn it if I did why are u even away from me now?
A month ago u spoke of us surviving exchange. And yet 2 weeks from there u lose your feelings. Is that even true? Why am I so confused?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Chronicles of HV: The lion, the savior, and the toilet

As we left holland v hawker centre, i realize that the my stomach seemed to be reacting to the laksa and nasi lemak combo that was dinner (something i wouldn't recommend). It wasn't the type that brought me to my knees, so i deliberated and decided i didn't have to brave the cubicles, just the urinals, for a piss.

As i was relieving myself, i decided to indulge a bit and let out a slow fart, but to my dismay, it was a bit of a wet one! I rushed to the free cubicle behind me, and pulled my shorts down to the familiar place around my heels, and dropped those nukes that had been weighing me down. As the carnage ploughed through the walls of jericho, i spotted through the corner of my eye the transparent toilet roll holder, and it's lack of cargo. Sighing, i made a distress call to Kenny, who was waiting outside, to come and save me with a pack of tissue! 5 seconds after i put down the phone, a brother in arms called out to me.

"Hello..hello!"...it was a dude from a neighboring cubicle! I noticed a hand holding some rumples of toilet paper! "Here's some! do u need more?" I hurriedly replied "no thanks! and THANKS THANKS THANKS!" I tried to call kenny to tell him that i didn't need saving as things were but was too late, as i heard him calling out to me for cubicle position and a pack of tissue came flying over the door.

Before my neighbour left his glory seat, his hand crept under the partition yet again with more paper. "Better take some more just in case"

Hey who ever said that Singaporeans took no initiative and were not outwardly helpful? :P

Bubble tea, Scotch, and Tears

Thank you all of you who had me in their thoughts~

On a lonely evening in a speeding plane.

-Solemn and Scary Plane Flights-

My Love,

A month ago today i boarded with hope in flutters.

Now i board again with my heart in tatters.

Emptiness that cannot be seen,

with nothing more to give that you will let me.

I in honesty had much fun;

Baking in the Catalunyan sun;

Running for the train in Bordeaux;

and then missing you at Monterosso;

Your favorite Milanese gelateria;

All the unsat gondolas in Venezia.

Like this, i wish time could reverse;

and wipe away all them tears,

but alas it was, in life, my best five years.

I hope tomorrow's beginnings are great;

but sadly i know it needn't be said,

that my best years and memories are now but a shadow;

deep within my infinite soul, there safely stowed.

Go find what you are looking for, my love,

and when you find your purpose to serve,

seek me out once again for there i always will be,

living my placid life in memory.

And now quaking in my tiny seat,

and as takeoff nears i hear my crazy heartbeat.

With no one about me to hold on to,

i reach out my hand rightwards and true,

but pullback on realizing it is not you.

Just like you whisper in my ear:

"sleep now dearie, and soothe your fears.

Before you know it we'll be in the air."

i sit solemnly and hope to see you there.

and feel your hands caress my face,

tracing lines with such grace.

and reunite my incomplete heart

with the fragments that i gave you while you slept,

Drying all our tears that we've wept.

i do and will miss you so,

ci vediamo.