Brittany Murphy

One of my favourite actress passed on yesterday..Brittany Murphy was to me one of the most outstanding actresses from my modest range of movies seen thus far. She was a genius at acting, ever the quirky one, but her acting touches close to the heart, and brings out the most human of qualities from her acting, raw emotion...be it happiness, from her laughter, to sadness in her crying, and determination.

An amazing actress she is. And today the world weeps solemnly with me.

which also leads me to think rather morbidly and amazingly about the purpose of life, and how inspiration spreads and feeds. I'm suddenly not so sullen about death, as it wakes us up, and opens our eyes to all the things that we have yet to do...planned and unplanned...what is life was merely a chartered course? If it's all been planned ahead of us, should we or shouldn't we then plan ahead? won't it just pan out all the same? musings musings, and questions to which the answers don't exist in any conceivable human state~ ah wells, so yet again, i'm curled up in a corner, with the only viable option being to embrace yet again "live well, live fully". Happiness merely brings awareness to sadness. Sadness only magnifies Happiness.

for that matter...

Emotions emotions emotions. Are they even needed? i will save that for another day of reflection...for now, shooto beckons!

ION 3 times in 3 days

as the title suggests, i spent lots of time in ION shopping centre, and had lotsa food there, and purchased awesome socks~ sadly just now most of the donuts were sold out at dunkindonuts,..and guys, bread society is just awesome when u eat the bread fresh..awesome stuff.

it's amazing that ivp ended just a week ago and i've put on so much weight since then!~

macdonalds new stamp collection monopoly game is totally killing me! i bought 4 extra value meals upsized today and still haven't won anything! i've got more than 100 tabs to date and still have not won any prizes! darn it! hur hur..

All u happy people, stay chirpy, all u sad people, cheer up! and then the world will be all happy, and chirpy, and noisy, and then i will tell the world to calm down, and stop making so much noise...and then i will repeat the cycle all over again.

i guess, it's better to tell the sad people, hey embraced the feeling y'all, and then remember that shit happens, so that u can fully appreciate the good times when they do come around

also,
France' july 2010 hope u'll materialize this time! tsk!

“If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck”

For too long have i been majoring in psychology, to the point where i am awfully skeptical about everything. In a field where nothing can be confirmed and the closest one gets is 'rejecting H-0", it think it's fair to say that i've since lost touch with normal everyday expectations of society.

Why do we think like this? >>>> "even though almost every points to something, it could be that.....so we cannot confirm blablablablah..."

“If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck."
Scientist would never accept that. But in not accepting this statement, how silly are we being?
If we continue our search for perfection in an imperfect world, and are unwilling to settle for less, then perhaps we were doomed before we started~~~

Yet, if we act on anything less than perfection, or in many cases, confirmation, then we leave ourselves open to accountability issues when things go bad...but how inefficient are we being in seeking efficiency?

anw, 27.9s for 50 free = fail.

friday.saturday.sunday

friday i swam something like a 30s! progress made.

gonna go for a dip again laterrr!

6th.

swam 1km in the morning. later see how!

4th October

Today really fail..planned to swim at 2pm..but inclement weather meant i had a couterproductive afternoon at munchie monkey's with a new companion called strawberry milkshake!

hope to get some swimming done tmrw!

Whalao. went training today. Final 50 free, rested and swam 33s. i think i've got a long way to go yet..

Putting together my strongest resolve, i've decided to use this blog to spur me on. I need to be able to swim 25s for 50 free in 4 weeks..and a 57s for 100free~

too tired to think of anything else now~
*PoOf*

Finally!

finally got my LoA application approved!

now that's about 3 weeks of stressing coming to a close!

now to find a job and learn to drive! also, i'm so gonna fix all the spoilt light-bulbs in the house, swim, jog, and meet up with friends!

watched 500 days of summer two days ago, and found it quite awesome! it's been a long time since i left the cinema feeling hinda shitty, like a black hole hatched in my soul, making me feel kinda empty~ dun quite know the adjective to describe all that!

to all u friends whom i've been neglecting the past month of so, i'm sooooo back! raRrRr!

new game on iPhone called dungeon hunter. I can sense that it is AWESOMEEE!

laterrr...love hurtssss (everly brothers)

Experience.

Going in soon! and i am filled with fear of the operation. What is it gonna feel like? will i wake up? will i recover? will it be darn painful? will it be go okay? to these questions i was in total doubt, but one thing was for sure. This would be an experience. I resign myself to fate, and i trudge into the operating room

-Operating theatre-

One woman distracts me with details about my name, i/c number, drug allergies and medical condition, as another opens a case of equipment which will form part of my hand for the next 6 hours or so. A needle is inserted and removed, and in place of the sharp burning "ant bite" sprouted a menacing piece of blue-coloured tube which sticked out of my widest vein on the back of my left palm. With the deed done, i ask the doctor what it'll general anesthetic would feel like. I'm obviously daunted and she doesn't offer me any sympathies. What she does do however, is to increase my knowledge on what goes on during general anesthetic…A tube to pump oxygen into my body will be inserted into my nostril and into my body. I will feel sleepy and i will fall asleep. When i come to, i will be in the recovery room, a proud owner of a brand new bloody nose because of the tube in my nose, and will experience discomfort in my throat and nose which wil

l inexplicably lead to coughing and nausea. Also, because i am to be heavily sedated, i will feel extremely drowsy, and will be disorientated. NICE. Time to go in now. So i enter, and everything seems to move like clockwork in here. I remove my robe, and lie face up on the operating table. I am told to breathe in fully from a mask that is connected to a tube. She tells me i will go to sleep soon. And then i remember! Oh no! i forgot to tell my dad not to come to pick me after the operation!..Anyways…Hmm..this mask..It smells funny…weird..plasticky. It smells…almost lik....weir…..weir..err..smell..it….an…..……

-recovery room-

…and i awake…to the sound of a warm motherly voice, which is that of a middle-aged nurse who is at the foot of a contraction i am lying on. Or have i really awakened?…It's hard to tell, since i cannot feel my face, my arms, legs..or anything for that matter. There's a surreal feeling about me. But at least i was prepared. Drowsy i am, with an irritable and dry throat. I try to lift my hand to my nose to check for bleeding. but i cannot move my hand? ridiculous. I doubt i've ever felt so helpless. Where am i? oh yes..i must be in the recovery room. I

struggle to speak. But the only slurs of words that emerge from my hoarse dry lips are "owrididko"? As i struggle to speak, the nurse struggles to hear me. Luckily, she's adept in the local language of the

darnnitikannotmovemytonguecositstotallynumb tribe. She tells me the operation is over and is ok, and the doctor will be in shortly for a short check up, before i am to be transferred back downstairs to rest in the day ward. I plead for water, but my request is overthrown on fears that i may regurgitate it out. To ease my throat, the nurse opens a squirt-tube of saline and begins to squeeze it into my mouth. Interestingly, i don't feel a thing in my mouth, only some hint of comfort down my raspy throat. After so

me 10 minutes or so..(obviously surmised since i couldn't tell the difference between an instant and an eternity in that state)..a doctor comes in to ask me how i am..etc..interestingly she tells me that one supernumerary wasn't found during surgery. In the midst of searching for the shrewd supernumerary, there was damage done to my two front teeth

, and its roots were now exposed..NICE. I attempt to crack a lame joke about a discount on the price of surgery, since i extracted only 6 teeth and not 7, but unfortunately the doctor's knowledge of the language of the darnnitikannotmovemytonguecositstotallynumb tribe i

sn't quite as profound as that of the nurse. So i continue to rest…

…and after a prolonged period of time, i start to feel a throbbing pain in my he

ad. Ah…the effects of sedation must be wearing thin now. Funnily (but not a

t that moment), I still cannot really move my body, weak as it was, so what i did do could be summed as an attempted act of movement. As my head continues to be hit by an endless barrage by some hidden force, I start to writhe and wince..and the experienced nurse offers me some mercy in the form of painkillers. She crushes two panadols, and i sip them up through a straw…the only evidence that i finished the dosage being the empty container which held the load. The panadols don't do me any good initially, but

after what felt like an eternity(5 minutes), the pounding to my brains eased, and i was back at nirvana. I laid my head back onto the pillow, which is the natural thing to do since i was feeling extremely drowsy..and i heard voices discussing wh

at time to bring me back down..and i guess that when the time reached, i saw through my squinted eyes, two nurses pushing me through a hallway, and then a lift, and then i was back where it all began, at the day ward.

-Amazing amount of bone removed from my currently festering mouth-

ouch

okay i went for my dental op yesterday. A painful experience but an experience nonetheless! will update soon with some photos and thoughts! Tis' evidence that this 8-day MC is for fun...

twenty four years and counting (HEY STOP COUNTING)!

leaving the nest early today to go scout for some french breakfast by choupinette at bukit timah road! i hope the coffee eclairs are as good as i've heard! Today's my twenty fourth birthday and i am feeling kinda stumped by what the birthday is supposed to mean..does it even mean anything? Kinda weird that everyone kinda gives in to me on my birthday and it's funny how i get to have unreasonable demands come through on my birthday! So there's this fantasy feeling buzzing about me and that keeps me scouring for some sense of reality...and i find it when i find that i have to give tuition to some korean kids~ haha shit man duty calls indeed! It's always refreshing tho to touchdown to reality! Soooo, It's 1114am and i am in the toilet washing up and preparing for the day, a day i hope keeps itself real, for i dun want to lose sight of the day.

Clean and raring to go i am, gobbler of eclairs i shall be.

and itbegins.com

school starts. and jeanne has checked back into temasek hall. nostalgic is those rooms that brings back so many memories~ one of the things that came to mind was what i used to play during exam periods! it's painfully addictive and very very engaging! try www.weffriddles.com you all! It seriously quite fun! haha we used to blow our entire "night-before-the-paper" wasting our precious tie on this!! gotta go try that one.

Anyhows, today i finally got a group for this module and it is julie who rocks! i really must say thanks! See there is that temasek hall connection there again! today is a little better than yesterday. I seem to be suffering from some sorta depression because of i don't know what! now what that called? depression due to unknown causes. I've tried long and hard to think about why i might be depressed but there seriously is no answer. Some drops of wisdom from those who've been kind enough to counsel me.
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According to Daniel Li (2009), even though there seems no reason, there is always an underlying reason that just hasn't hit me yet. Something IS indeed bothering me, i just don't know it. terribly sorry for being so downcast and spoiling dinner somewhat. Yes, i know sunday is supposed to be my day and all but please forgive me for my lack of excitement. I dunno why..but it just is. I've kinda lost that feeling. I just need to find that spark.

Kenny koh (2009) asks if it's because of the dawning of reality. And as i answer no, he turns up the music in the car, "and so it is...". Apparently it's time to feel emo. HAHA. Kenny is just someone whom u need to punch cos' he feels and says some shit that is seriously insensitive, but painfully honest, and often unerringly accurate. Nobody would have him any other way. He is perpetually emo, and perhaps with good reason to be, and i'm starting to think that this emo-demeanor is actually a defense mechanism and is doing well for him!

Hikoto (2009) says that times like that happen, and she gets it sometimes. Hmm.. perhaps everyone goes through some down time. I guess, but one should at least know the reason why one is down no? I've no idea. yes i dunno if it's okay to dunno the reason why one wuld be feeling dunno-what. nuff said.

Lee (2009) says that it's just so unlike me to be down cos i'm such a happy person! So apparently i am a happy person, but then, without sadness/depression, what is happiness? That really is a philosophical question that leads nowhere. I do know though, that this one Lee better organize soccer soon cos i'm just itching to play!

Wee (2009) things i need a red bull and mushrooms, especially the raw type. Maybe what she really thinks is that i need wings, since red bull gives one wings. I need to fly, and i do indeed feel like i need to fly, and it's funny how inspiration can come in a flurry of creative ways. I find myself flying whenever i find comfort in my guitar, that sense of freedom and power is pretty unparalleled. And so i picked up my guitar. The mushrooms though must be some weird fetish of hers. Apparently i can 1-up. sighs.
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Onto another subject, i jsut recently recovered(i think..fully..) from H1N1. Overlooking the coughing that takes over from time to time, i feel fit as a fiddle and feel like playing some tennis/soccer/touchrug! But more importantly, everytime i tell someone i just recvered from hiniflu everyone has THAT expression. hm..the " is he safe" expression! apart from hikoto who went as far as to say "damn i wish i had h1n1 so i will have immunisation from the flu virus!"

Wong (2009): "you only felt the sianness of having a 3-day long high fever because u are not working working working, else it would be okay la." haha and so i told her not to worry then i've got the one-stop quick fix to solve the problem of a shitty job! i told her i saved my unwashed medicine spoon in a ziplock bag specially for her to take a whiff or to drink soup with! whilst my saliva is known to have medicinal properties, i suspect that the side effects such a rare elixir may be simiar to symptoms of the influenza virus. and once u get the virus, no school, no work! For those who crave that, please just buzz me or leave me a message! i'd be happy to oblige! tsktsk!~

H1n1 is powerful i tell you. Once u've got it, u'll look back upon it like an adventure! and now i've got immunity, so how cool is that!

Btw, i love the new macbkpro and it's long battery life..it's now at 40% and this is after i've used it the whole day. seriously can't complain about the 5 hour battery life there. srsly love it.

OKay..going to scout for some food with Jeanne now..Mos burger is on the cards. All u peeps who've yet to try the Mos Burger Triple prawn burger shame on u all! It's sumptious! It taste a leetle bit like the chilli crab sauce which we all love so much, but there's obviously no crab in it, just the taste, plus 3 nice prawns ebi-fry style. I currently am loving it more than any macdonalds burger and that says ALOT, since i love macdonalds too!

See you soon Jeanne! HAHA my iphone got no more battery to play games! bwahaha! signing out.

jeanne is playing my iphone...

jeanne is playing with the apps on my iphone...24hrs a day...draining my battery...and she replies like this: "err....*5 second pause*..ya." and "ya.....errr...i mean no...errr...yes." .......

apart from not having my iphone anymore, i also dun have jeanne's attention anymore!! boo!

...

whalaoooo the nurse called in today to confirm that i have h1n1! at least the worst of it has passed. the past two days have been hell cos of the 39degree fever..but my temperature is a whimpsical

day 3

hiya folks. i've been out of action for the past 3 days because of my 39 degree fever.. from which i got myself a 5-6 day MC + home quarantine, skipped my first week of school, and last but not least, seen myself out of action for the past few days, my bestest friend my bed in which i've spent 90% of the past 72 hours here..sighs. i am really dying lying here. i am so waiting for this shitty headache to pass and i can't wait to get back into action. I hate being sick especially having fever cos it causes this darn splitting headache.

just had my first class today after a loooong layoff! it was good, although the module seems more demanding than most~ it's a good wake up call and i think it's about time i started doing some work again! holidays were good but it's high time i touched back down onto reality!

just had the usual midnight bridge session~ twas' a specially good game today! won both rounds of 3-player bridge whee!

alive and kicking

Music finally up! going to NUS soon to jeanne's room to help clean up and help her movie in~ and gonna meet K later to watch 'up'! hope it's good (the show that is...cleaning is never good.)

Macbook so far so good, has yet to pull a fast one on me thus far. let's hope it remains that way~

sigh. school is starting tmrw..i wonder what it'll be like..without my school gang. One's graduated and the other has flown away across the sea! hope we'll meet up soon~ have fun u two~ sighs.

New semester, new friends, new life. Old me.

woot!

new iphone 3gs! and new macbook! woot!

omg..my laptop can last as long as my phone now when i'm playing games! wheee!
bridge time! PoOf!

now now now it's been awhile hasn't it?

A good day at home..listening to 80s n 90s music - flashback to the past - on MTV! let see..u can't touch this, ice ice baby, Mmmm MmmMmmMmm, sunny came home, fly by sugar ray....o yes i wouldn't complain if everyday was like this.

Yesterday i headed down to NUS for matriculation fair 2009 to mann the swimming booth with sandy and we were both surprised at how unspectacular the place was! Few people, nothing much going on~ Maybe it's because it was still early in the day~

Beef noodles for lunch from angmokio..awesome..cobrastarship ft. Leighton meester good girls go bad...And this reminds me of an age-long debate between me and the school gang! leighton the aspiring adult actress or blake the irrepressible pyt on the edge of a-list megastardom?i'm obviously rooting for the latter, but it's not easy to explain why! blair from GG is pretty i'll give her that..but she doesn't evoke anything or excite as does Serena vdw!~ before we all pin that on raging hormones, i feel that it's really not about hotness. It's just that one has the look, while the other hasn't...sad but true~

moving on, today is ION excursion. J and i we've not looked around proper as yet so today will be our pioneering mission. Nokia is on J's agenda, dunkin donuts on mine...

O ya...and darnit! Curses to you darn module preference system! i got allocated a paltry lone module, and that happened to be my least favourite of the 5! ohhh comeonnnn u've gotta be kidding me! darnit..with 900+ points left in my programme account, i realize the demise that i surely must face in the coming weeks...o gosh..looks like i'll  be heading to the psych department alot for appeals, and next sem i'll be a bankrupt...sighs. O wells...luck of the draw they say.. I wish they'd come up with some stupid ranking system for module preference so as to have some sort of choosing system, not just randomly(as they say...)

hmm...now how do i put music up on my blog?

Final.Night.in.Vietnam

did some shopping yesterdayyyy~ bought about 3 t-shirts~~ i also wanted to see what the craze about chinese chess was in this country! so i decided to pit my wits against some old hand at An Dong Plaza whilst jeanne was shopping. I proved that a purple-haired foreigner CAN play chess by decimating his poor generals. In the end though, i decided not to embarrass him in front of his onlooking wife/kids/friends so i decided to use a sleight-of-hand that magically allowed him to sneak a narrow win(on purpose of course...as though there was a need to ask hmf.)

eggciting kinda day was today! went on a tour to gao-dai. Gaodai-ism is a religion which is really a combination of many other religions! we then went by the cu chi tunnels! met tons of foreigners like myself. Nice meeting aaron, matt and alan. photos from gaodai temple, cu chi tunnels.

gaodai-ism

Booby traps in cu chi.

tmrw we'll be heading back to singapore~ so sadddddd... but oh wells i had fun so what can i expect? leaving would've always been a pain no matter when it was so i guess there's no time like the present~ enjoying a good slugfest by vika azarenka vs serena williams. Me hopes the dainty girl can hold out against the bulldozer williams is! Go vika! Anyways i'm out of t-shirts so i guess i'll have to dig into my stash of 3 new tshirts heheheheheh.. busy day tmrw gotta catch a flight too at 240pm! rehi singapore soon! signing out.