Heart of the meek.

the blinding ray Shone threw the haze

bringing to light the truth of mine gaze

listen not to words of man

but sooner follow the trail of sand

Where sheesh may safely graze

Pity about how things turned out;

but i never thought it turn this way.

You were just a friend (no more);

and i never intended for you to sway.

Your thoughts differ from mine,

and really they're out of line.

I can tell your pain;

but i can't take your blame.

Would u rather i had ignored you?

I'm sorry but i am not them.

So don't expect me to do what you are used to.

and stop being defensive like a clam.

It is true that now i don't understand how you feel;

but truer still that i never understood your thrill.

So i hope that through your self-imposed winding maze,

you'll find your way to where sheesh may safely graze.

The Morning Benders - Virgins (Exclusive new track for Blogotheque)

All my lovers around me like virgins screen today
Waist-deep in the water, pushing my body away

What makes you go, to put the past away?
Oh how many drops can you squeeze out to explain
What happened one day?

And one of them stays behind and trails me from afar
I saw her eyes, lit up like colors in the dark
But when our faces met, I was half a world away
It still shot in my breath as I turned to say

We meet another way
Where you wont recognize my face
Can we meet one way or another you wont, you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up

When we meet one day you won’t recognize my face
When we meet one way or another you wont you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up

And one day it suits me, the next it simply leaves me dry
It comes on like a lifetime, it passes into morning light
How beautiful it was to be anything at all
But somehow it strikes me, the timing came a bit off

When we meet another day you won’t recognize my face
When we meet one way or another you wont you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up
When we meet one way you won’t recognize my face
When we meet one way or another you wont you wont
Speak up, speak up, speak up

A wine and a smile.

A nice low-key chill out evening.

Had a nice dinner with special-k at the vines@novena and treated myself to lobster/ribeye combo set with a nice red.

We later adjourned to Haato@ulu pandan for icecream and waffles on K's recommendation. T'was good i must say.

There's always something nice about having a nice glass of wine with someone whom you've known for ages. In the moment you tip your glass to your lips, this air of nostalgia fills the air. For that moment in the bustling restaurant, it was almost as though time grinded to a stop, as poignant moments that we shared came to the fore.

T'was not too long ago when we sat side-by-side outside KK Hospital's 7-eleven, each having ourselves a jelly-slurpee-sundae after a morning training session. It was a funny moment that i'll always look back upon with a lot of fondness. We were two 13-year olds planning to start a swim school together. Grand plans indeed. Haha. Interestingly enough, while our mutual friend has actually gone ahead and done just that, we're still sitting on that blue metal bench enjoying our ice creams and each others company, except that the blue metal bench of the past was now stylish wooden tables and chairs at Haato :) If there are times where fate cannot break the bonds formed by man, this could possibly be one.

As two 12 year-olds, we were set on paths that would see us become totally different people. In many ways, we're complete opposites. One a Blue and gold in heart, the other a green warrior. He was the ever-quiet aspirer, focused and determined. Me the loud-spoken philosopher, seeing things differently was my forte. He had everything that i lacked, drive and focus. We'll be in rival schools, and then take on different areas of study, in rival universities. He's always got everything planned, me unplanned. Our backgrounds cannot be more different, our ideals different. Somehow, one way or another, like the sun and moon, the earth couldn't get rid of us.

And as suddenly as time stopped for me, i find myself in the present again, as the bustling sounds of food being served, topics being shared, orders being taken, flood back into my consciousness. The blur of my surroundings gain focus again as i find myself sitting in a family-oriented restaurant called 'the vines'.

Lost for words i am suddenly.

...Good wine, my friend, good wine.

in a daze

天使の微笑み

A Quartet of Characters.

Ode to mane;

Recluse to light;

Yelp of beak.

-

Click of keys;

Surfing of sites;

Yielding to thoughts.

-

Sinking of posture;

Ache of spine.

-

Adhering to noise;

Beholden to notes.

just another afternoon

birds fly home, dawn to dusk, why cant time pass just as fast.

monotonous voice, lights are dim, i feel like eating ice cream.

mind starts to wander, eyes are heavy, now i feel like mash potato with gravy.

playing of gongs, arms start to ache, an afternoon slice of cheesecake.

Shaun Ang, 5th October 2010.

It's a certainty.

A life is time;
they teach you growing up.
But the seconds ticking killed us all
a million years before the fall.

The key ingredient

I think that i have discovered the key ingredient that keeps friends together~~

Reliance.

Expectations

in construction.managing expectations.

stardust.

You light the skies up above me.

A star, so bright you blind me.

Don't close your eyes.

Don't fade away.

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star,

If you stay with me girl, we can rule the world.

Yeah you and me we can light up the sky,

If you stay by my side, we can rule the world.

If walls break down, I will comfort you.

If angels cry, I'll be there for you.

You've saved my soul.

Don't leave me now.

My red sky

If you'd float into my red sky,

I would love to make you smile.

hair of red

hair of red

nothing being said

he walked past the gate

while she wait

she wonders, "why is he late"

guess its just my fate

but it has already been made

lets just go on a date

-Shaun Ang 28th Sept 2010

Peripheral Alertness.

The sounds of button crunching as the person perched behind me checks his mobile. The blinking of the girl beside me blinking with her mascaraed lashes. The twitching leaned head of the bloke beside me cross-armed. Two chairs left she chuffs her handouts on the table to align them. The girl in front sits hand on lap listening intently. Beside her another girl scribbles incessantly..

It seems i've zoned out totally at approximately an hour and a half into class.

If one concentrates on the sounds around them, it's really hard to attain silence isn't it? Perhaps silence is actually a state of mind. *ponder.ponder*

War and peace.

We Laugh

We cry

We fight

They die

-

They talk

They lie

They cheat

We die

-

It's a farce.

We'll all die.

-

So Here,

have some of mine.

And i'll take your wine.

And then we'll show them,

that we men,

we'll walk hand-in-hand.

-

“I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.” -Ghandi

My world on 26th of September 2010

A change of perspectives

A change in flair.

A change of views

A change of hair.

He turns on the news

and for the moment he weeps.

For all the hatred

and blood in heaps.

Now why can't we all get along?

in Jeruselem, in Siam, or in japan~

What're all our children among?

How far can this violence span?

They tell us this:

The greatest thing as they live,

Is to love and be loved in return.

But they should just learn to love.

and not the rewards that love should give.

I've learnt alot

but all i have not.

i save it for my brother,

and one day we'll save each other.

She learns something new,

something she never knew;

But she gives up

cos it's too much for her to chew.

But i am wrong.

He is wrong.

They are wrong.

She is wrong.

We're all wrong; And that makes us alright.

a very white and pristine moon.

Teo Heng is the type of name the usually precedes some sorta food...for example you could have Teo Heng Porridge or perhaps Teo Heng Tao Sah Piah...but karaoke?! Certainly sounds as beng as it gets! Moreover, when i called over to Katong shopping centre to make a reservation, the attendant greeted with a "wei?" That certainly set the alarms off.

Anyhow, the place was quite nice in actuality. The scene i envisaged prior to arrival was a shoddy broken-down small room with not-so-good equipment but a pretty good song selection (what ah bengs lack in style they make up with good song knowledge). To my surprise, it was well-lit, and acceptably spacious (but ours was a 'medium' room, so i fear for the small rooms), with OK sound systems~ The best part really is that it's kinda no-frills so they don't include drinks in the package and so the room we got was like $20 for 3 hours, and $10/subsequent hr?! madly cheap IMO~ If you want canned drinks they cost something like a dollar each which is pretty affordable too! I'd totally recommend it in spite of its dodgy name that only bengs/lians would know it haha! I would pick it over Kbox anytime!

Company was good as usual with the music-gang! Special mention goes out to CSY who was sick yet still made it down, and drey who came rushing down from school after data collection. EVERYONE could sing, which made things less fun, since normally every group i go with, there's always at least 1 person who cannot sing properly, which makes things less serious and more funny! Yesterdays' gang seemed at least half-conscious of how they sounded, literally glued to their seat when singing, and nobody screaming (bar myself), no one standing up to dance, no ridiculous acts! haha. We really should've just gone wild lah!! Anyways, since when was going to karaoke about Singing properly?! It's really about having fun and doing funny things isn't it? lol. I felt it a mild outing, yet one cannot even start to find fault with the nicest company on earth. It's always gives u an innocently wondrous feeling meeting up with the music-gang.

After that we settled on $4 dollar chicken rice which ended up being worth the extra penny~~ Over dinner came the inevitable discussion of Roasted Chicken vs White chicken. Where did we ever learn that roasted chicken was basically leftover white chicken put into the roaster? It's probably knowledge (or myth) passed down from generation to generation, and although i can't quite validate it, i'm sure i'd tell my kids the same anyways hahahaha. Also, i learnt (to my detriment) that 'bai cai' and 'xiao bai cai' is not the same~

True to the beng-ethnic that is clearly in our blood, we headed off to the pool parlour to satiate our thirst to stoke (or relive) our beng (or lian) fiery roots. Was playing when Shaun asked me out of the blue :"eh how to put 'english' on the ball arh?" hahahhahahaah..sorry mate. Bengs call it 'siding' lol. Although i found it funny, i did find the time to get my ass kicked by them (RY can play pool too) so from now on maybe i need to rephrase my common usage of the word 'siding' to 'english'.

after pool back home we went and then ry and i contemplated running for bus 31. Luckily we decided against it, because we (only later) realized that 31 did NOT stop at the bus stop we were waiting at. Running would have been bad on the knees, and seriously would have been a total waste of effort! so we backtracked some 400 metres or so to the previous busstop on the other side of the road junction. That's when i looked up into night sky to appreciate a breeze coming through and saw the very prominent white moon peering down through a cloudy starless sky~~ When the moon captures your heart it holds you captive, and so i remained solemn for the entirety of the way home (sorry RY lol.)

Well, to be exact, i was pretty solemn right until the end of the trip, when i noticed the pair perched in front of us were very possibly practicing lesbianism. and so i input into my mobile "girl or boy?" to ask RY. And then she stared blankly and then replied,..."huh i dun quite get it" followed by (in a louder voice) "WHAT 'GIRL OR BOY'?" At that moment my solemnness just got smashed into a million fragments as i wondered in the silliness of the embarrassing situation i suddenly found myself in! haha. Unfortunately for me, those two were less than 50 centimetres away so i'm PRETTY sure that they picked up on my 'innocuous' question.

Reaching home, i was dead tired so i spent an hour or two online and on the telly before me and my solemn-again mood retreated to the pillow.

Now these 3 remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love.

when is it OK to take a chance?

It's our faults that make us who we are.

I notice that it's become nigh impossible to know someone well enough when all u know about a person is his good deeds. Somehow, a stronger relationship is when you know everything bad about a person, and yet you still accept him for who he is. Now that is a strong friendship isn't it?

It's pretty weird cos this should be counter-intuitive. When a person is a good-doer, it's only natural that it's easier to befriend him, since he is more likely to be of benefit to you as opposed to someone evil. So why is it that i feel so much closer to those whom i see failing everyday?

Perhaps it's because i know they trust me. As i trust my sins all my friends, those who let me in on their wrongdoings (in the hope of finding peace/advice), are those that trust me enough, and on trust does a relationship ride.

Anyhow, in a world where everyone strives for perfection and goodness, it really is our faults that makes us who we are isn't it? Firstly (1), faults are usually the first thing that people tend to spot, because doing good is the benchmark in todays' society, and doing a good deed is simply the norm, whereas making mistakes just stick out like a sore thumb. Secondly (2), we can never truly know a person, if all we know are his good deeds; as opposed to his bad. When we can look beyond that and accept the sinner for who he is, only then can we truly know a person.

*ponder ponder*